I wish I could say it was PMS

I have been in bit of a funk lately.  I can't shake the shitty feelings I have and the doubts that run through my mind.  I would like to say it's PMS and tell myself to wait it out.  The problem is, this all started way before my PMS started.  My PMS does exacerbate the situation.  I feel restless, fake, out of control, and completely lost.  I hate the way I am feeling at the moment and I really hope it passes.  I have been here before and I know where it leads... to a dark place I don't want to go.  I know why I am coming to this awful place again, but I don't know how to stop it.  The fear and the urge is strong this time too.  I am trying to be careful.  I am trying to distract myself and not allow my mind to drift off to this dark place.  I fear I am losing this battle.

I just want to sleep until it passes.