Do I Follow the Signs?

I have had a dream three times in the last week.  The first dream woke me up and frightened me.  In the end, I was alone, though content and happy enough, I was very lonely.  The loneliness was my only struggle throughout the dream.  It wasn't all the time, just at key moments of my life in the dream.  I seemed happy, I really did.  Maybe I was just feeling sorry my dream self and didn't like the idea of always being alone in the future.  There was no one in the dream that was friend or family.  There were strangers, colleges, and such.  Just no one close to me in any way.  What does that mean?  How do I proceed with that?  Do I remove everyone from my life or is this what will happen if I don't change?

Usually if I have a dream more than once some or all of it comes true in some way.  Two small parts have already happened in real life, I'm now waiting for the second half of one of these scenes to play out.  There are parts of the dream that came to me so vivid and strong.  Almost as if I HAVE to do what my dream was telling me.  The only difference in the dreams is when these things start to happen.  One dream started today, when something changed in my life.  In the dream I deleted all Social Media, including my blog.  I remove myself from the digital world.  I have been contemplating this drastic decision all week.  The dream had me pretty much remove myself from the world.  I went to work and I came home.  I did nothing else.  I became silent, distant, emotionless, and a workaholic.  No time for anyone or anything.  I no longer saw the world, as if I was walking through a frosted glass tunnel.  I can hear it all but everything around me was blurry.   It seems in the dream I was invisible.  Maybe I was dead in the dream.  No, that can't be right.  There were parts of the dream that death would not fit.

I won't lie or hide the fact that though this dream sounds lonely and depressing, I am okay with it becoming a reality.  The thing about these dreams is that a part of me somewhat feels the way I did in the dream.  Does this mean the rest of me will finally go along with it?   I truly wish I was silent and emotionless.  I have far to much emotion for one person to handle and I say too much.

I have been writing all this crazy lists and trying to figure out how I want things to be for myself.  Maybe that is why I keep having these dreams.  My silly ideas are forming into what might happen.  There are certain things, many things I want to change about myself and I believe they are manifesting in these dreams to show my either how to go about getting where I want to be or a warning of what will happen if i do follow through.  The question is Do I follow the signs?

It's a Melancholy Sunday

I've been having an emotionally rough few days.  Yeah, okay, when am I not, right?  I've been planning, preparing, and hoping things go well next week.  My temporary position is done and now I am back out into the world looking for something new.  I'm excited and terrified at the same time.  February 18th was my last day. I took BART to Fremont then bussed to San Jose to visit with my grandmother.  I didn't blog while I was there because I didn't want to use my data.  Once I got home I worked on behind the scenes stuff instead writing an entry.

I had a nice visit with my grandmother. I helped her with some chores and we had a heart to heart.  I got to visit with my uncles who come over a few times a week.  I plan to go back if I don't have anything solid for work in the next couple weeks.

I have a list of things I want to accomplish at home before I start working again.  Such as cleaning the house from top to bottom. Finishing my purging without interruptions.  I edited my list today and broke it all down by room and even broke it down some more.  This is my crazy way of making sure I don't miss anything.  Once the list was done I needed to make a trip to the store to pick up a few things.  I heard Stomp by Kirk Franklin playing in a woman's car as she passed by.  That was all it took for me.  I got home and HAD to listen to Gospel.  There is something emotionally powerful about Gospel and I needed to hear it. It helped boost my mood, but as the day went on my music choices kept changing.  Pandora must have thought I lost my mind with my hourly change of genres.  I couldn't find anything I liked, nothing that resonated with my emotions.

At some point in the day, due to something said, a realization about a few friends hit me.  They aren't really my friends and I started thinking about the few times we've hung out and how things didn't seem right.  So of course I ask one of them and it was made clear that I was the "friend" people go to when boredom strikes and/or no one else is available because they felt sorry for me.  Well then, good-bye to you and the rest. There is more to this story but that is not important.  I'm not mad, just wish I would have noticed.  It's obvious I need to be more careful about who I allow in my real life.  I have a bad habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt and looking for the good in all.  I wish I wasn't like that.  I'm second guessing all my friendships at the moment.I know I shouldn't but I start over thinking.
This is when the Kelly Clarkson & Jason Mraz playlists on my Itunes became my choice for the rest of the day.  Their music can be melancholy and uplifting all in one for me.  I probably should change the music to something more fun or calming.

The fairweather friend removal has given me in a stronger purging mood.  Now I want to purge more than my home.  I've been saying I wanted to update my social networking and do some digital cleaning. Maybe it's time to remove people in real life too; I'll add those to my list.  The house first though. Home and personal care always comes first. Because I can ignore the internet and people, but I can't ignore my home, kids, or myself.  I sometime wish I was more like a friend (?) who can easily have zero attachment to things and people. No care in the world except for self, family, and close friends.  I would like to be less sentimental, attached and overly caring.  I'm working on it and slowly getting to a comfortable place of un-attachment to all things.  Someday I will have my shit together, I hope.

I'm not really melancholy anymore.  I feel much better, I guess I needed to vent.  Thanks for reading.  I am tired, so off to bed I go.

Good Night 

Wednesday boredom

Nothing exciting to say this evening. I feel like nothing was accomplished though I did some organizing and tossed a bunch of things out. I drank my water and had a Body by Vi shake for lunch. Dinner was uneventful as I was super lazy. I forgot to blog last night because I was busy. I came upstairs and did the usual routine of shower and hop in bed. I fell asleep before I could turn on my tablet. I think I fell asleep around 8:30 which is rare for me. I guess I was pretty tired. I woke up about midnight with a serious coughing fit. I ended up running to the bathroom to puke. Tonight I brought in the trash can just in case.

Not much else to talk about. Well I feel fat today, so maybe PMS time in near.

Goodness Gracious

I can't believe how fast 2014 went. I had some great adventures this year. I can say with happiness in my heart that 2014 was a great year. I have learned so much from my experiences this past year and it has helped me grow and become more self-aware. I should probably write a blog sharing all my favorite parts of 2014.

I can't wait to see what 2015 brings. I will do my best to manifest positivity, happiness, and love.

Well, Poop

It looks like I will have to learn to blog from my phone and squeeze sometime in at work in the morning before I start. Good thing I get to work 45 minutes early.  No excuses, right?

My Mac is about to die on me and I can't do much with it.  I've had it since 2008, I received it as a gift and it was already 2 years old.  It has lasted me a long time. I am grateful of all that I was able to accomplish with my little friend Mac, but I think It's time to move on.  Now I have to find a decent laptop I can use and another for my kids to share.

So, get ready to see weird post that may not be formatted correctly or look semi-nice because I suck at using Blogger on my phone.  I also think it's time to revamp again.

What should my theme be  for 2015? 

It's All Good

I've been on a wild ride this past year.  Meeting new people, learning new things, starting a new job.... Oh wait, that's everyday in a life type shit... Never mind, I guess it wasn't as wild as I thought.

I have been on this journey to find myself. To become a better person and to be more self aware.  In these last few years I have learned we are a forever changing beings.  As we search for ourselves we change ourselves. We adapt, constantly breaking down and renewing ourselves.  I believe I am going through the breaking down process and it's about time I renewed myself.  In the last year alone, I have learned so much about myself it's ridiculous  My ideals of life, relationships, and self have changed.  What I used to think I might want someday, I now know for sure I want these things to happen in my life. It's time I made them happen.  There are a few things I have put up with and disastrously managed through out my life, thinking there will be a better way or a person to help me understand.  I have learned what that better way is and had a great friend help me understand my feelings on this situation and understand another point of view.  I can now move forward in my life knowing these problems will no longer be, a problem. I can manage with clarity and will not put up with any issues that come my way.

Yes I am being vague.  I am keeping many thoughts and feelings to myself   For now, that is best, and I apologize to my readers if this at all confuses you. My mind has been overflowing with thoughts and I have not yet sorted it all out, but I am working on it the best I can.  Things are changing again.  I used to hate change, I had to have a plan and know every detail in order for my mind to be calm.  I am trying to learn to be more in the now and be spontaneous.  Learning to live in what feels like chaos.  Expect the unexpected at all times.  It is difficult, but I am taking it day by day and getting better.

I Have 15 Minutes

I have 15 minutes to say Hello.

I have been pretty busy lately and I like it. I don't like the unknown, no one really does.  As many of you know I live in Low-income/subsidized housing.  When my income goes up, so does my rent. I took a day off work to make sure all paperwork and proof of employment was taken care of so by October 1 I would know what my new rent was and how I will need to budget my bills around it.  It is October 2 and I have not been notified what my rent will be.  I took half a day off Tuesday to take care of any loose ends.  What irritates me the most is communication. Everyone involved has my contact information. How hard is it to notify me that there is an issue and it needs to be resolved immediately   It would have been ideal for someone to call or email me and let me know what was going on.  I emailed and called to keep in the loop, but no one knew anything or didn't respond in a timely manner.  I'm frustrated. I can't pay any bills until my rent is paid. Some of my bills will now have a late fee.

My friend JW is moving this weekend. I have been helping when and where I can on house repairs, cleaning,  and moving.  Doing so is helping me keep my mind off my own home B.S...  I am excited for JWs move.  It will be a new adventure for his family.

Well believe it or not, that is my 15 minutes.

Many blessings to you and yours,

Lisa

I wish I could say it was PMS

I have been in bit of a funk lately.  I can't shake the shitty feelings I have and the doubts that run through my mind.  I would like to say it's PMS and tell myself to wait it out.  The problem is, this all started way before my PMS started.  My PMS does exacerbate the situation.  I feel restless, fake, out of control, and completely lost.  I hate the way I am feeling at the moment and I really hope it passes.  I have been here before and I know where it leads... to a dark place I don't want to go.  I know why I am coming to this awful place again, but I don't know how to stop it.  The fear and the urge is strong this time too.  I am trying to be careful.  I am trying to distract myself and not allow my mind to drift off to this dark place.  I fear I am losing this battle.

I just want to sleep until it passes.

30 Facts Or Something

Random photo, just because.

This was a tagging game on Facebook back in the day.  You were tagged and had to write 30 facts or whatever about yourself. Then tag other people. Wooo, fun right? I posted mine November 16, 2010.  I won't put the link to the original here but IF you are friends with me on Facebook I'm sure you can easily find it in my notes.  I'm really tired and did not feel well today, but wanted to post something. I saw this on Facebook and laughed at myself.  So why not share it here with a bit of an update. 

1. I'm addicted to caffeine 

2. I love toys from vending machines

3. I have 3 younger sisters- Cristy, Jessica, and Melanie

4. I've been told the first impression I give is a stuck up bitch  

5. I've also been told that once someone gets to know me, I too damn nice  

6. I would live in an off the grid compound and disappear from the world if I could. 

7. I love black & white nude photography

8. I love porn

9. I'm a geek ... yup

10. I don't do drugs, but am 420 friendly and drink when I'm with friends.  I don't consider marijuana a drug.

11. I have 3 kids ages 19, 16, and 14. 

12. I love everything Harry Potter

13. I'm loud and obnoxious. Get used to it

14. I want to move but, I'm scared. Also I love it here, and keep finding reasons not to leave.  

15. I'm overly emotional. I cry about everything :(

16. I'm horrible when it comes to math

17. I want to go to a nudist camp for a day or weekend.

18. I'm afraid of clowns and heavily crowded places

19. I have Anxiety and Borderline Personality Disorder. It sucks

20. I am a cutter- No not one of those fake ass emo attention whores. I haven't done it in a while and no longer have the urge to do so. Only time will tell if I've beat it. --- Since the original post I have cut once. I guess I didn't win the battle. 

21. I have NEVER smoked cigarettes and once considered it a deal breaker for relationships.  I like the smell of it on some people though.  Weird, right?  

22. I used to be afraid of the dark. --- Not anymore :D

23. I have 3 nieces and 1 nephew I have never met. 

24. I hate sleeping alone.  --- I don't mind it now, though I prefer to snuggle up to someone 

25. I hate driving.. it gives me anxiety attacks..

26. I dislike weddings and baby showers.  

27. I think men in uniform, work attire, and cowboy attire are damn sexy. 

Sagging jeans in not cute STOP IT!

28.  Though I don't drive, I'm definitely a CHEVY girl. 

29. I prefer husky men over skinny or fit guys.  

30. I'm a procrastinator 

Most did not change or changed a little bit. Geez, I can't believe I once said I had an asian fetish. What a dork I am. 

A Little Fun

Something random and fun for you to read.  I had this either on my old Myspace account or in my Facebook notes.  Well anyway, here is a little questionnaire.  Yeah, remember those? Haha Enjoy!

ONE.

Spell your name without vowels:  LS (aww I have no name now) 

TWO.

What is the date 2 days after your birthday?: July 3

 THREE.

How many pairs of jeans do you own: 4

FOUR.

What color(s) do you wear most?: Blue & Black

FIVE.

Least favorite color?: Mustard (yes that is a color)

SIX.

Last song u heard?: Breaking Your Own Heart by Kelly Clarkson

SEVEN.

What's for dinner tonite?: Cabbage soup & Senna tea

EIGHT.

Are you happy with your life right now?: I'm happy enough

NINE.

Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity: Yes, Pink.. though I disagree

TEN.

In what state or country do you want to go to school in?: California, Though it would be cool to go to college over seas. 

ELEVEN.

Do you shop at stores like hollister, abercrombie and fitch and aeropostel: HELL NO!

TWELVE.

How do you make money?: According to certain people I am a prostituting drug dealer.  How I make money is no ones business, nor is it any of my business how you make yours. 

THIRTEEN.

Last thing you bought over 50 dollars?: Video games for my kids

FOURTEEN.

When do you start Summer Break? UGH My kids get out in 2 1/2 weeks. It's not a break for me. 

 FIFTEEN.

Are you missing someone right now?: Always ;)

SIXTEEN.

One word to describe you: Tenacious

SEVENTEEN.

Favorite pair of shoes: None

EIGHTEEN.

Do you own big sunglasses?: No, well i don't think they are big :/

NINETEEN.

What would you rather be doing right now?: Masturbating

TWENTY.

What should you be doing right now?: Writing a real blog entry on my opinions on intimate relationships

Something, Something, blah blah blah.

I don't have anything important to say in this entry, but I should post something.  So I'll give you an update.

I am going to see my eldest child graduate from high school soon. I am excited, scared, and most likely going to have a panic attack at least once on the trip.  I think I will meditate about this.

I got a new phone FINALLY!  I am one to use something till it falls apart. Yes, I'm one of THOSE people who is always behind in technology.  I don't care! I had my Droid X for over three years. I loved that phone.  Okay, that's horrible, we shouldn't love our phones.  Oh well...  I purchased the Moto X, yes I know it's not one of the new fan-dangled Samsung S blah blah blah and I don't care.  Yes the S blah blah blahs look cool, but I really wanted to Moto X. Plus, my hands are way too small for the newer phones. After the Moto X I'll have to by the mini phones.  Ever since the Moto X came out, I wanted it.  I'm just cheap and refused to pay $550 for a phone, and I just said, I like to use things till they fall apart.  I went to a few stores and looked online before I found a store that actually carried it.  I wanted the white one but there were no more left. I was sad but excited to get the phone I have been wanting for a while.  I guess you can say I am a very happy girl.  R.I.P. Droid X, I'll miss you, and HELLO Moto X, yes please and thank you.

First Selfie with the new phone

This cat is a biter

Monday, I went to the Golf Course. I'm still injured, so no I did not golf.  I did watch and cheer on my friend while they golfed.  I also used this time to test out my phones camera.  It takes some nice photos. I'm still trying to figure out the Moto X.  Give me another week.

Not bad phone, not bad at all. 

Ooohh pretty, well I think so anyway

Speaking of injury, my ankle is looking better.  I can walk on it better at times and sometimes it kills. YES I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO STAY OFF IT!  The swellings is almost gone but it feels as if my ankle is out of socket or there is something stuck between the bone and tendons.  It just feels weird.

A Nice Hike at Mount Diablo

April 12, 2014

JW and I went for a little hike at Mount Diablo.  It was my first time hiking there.  Here are a few photos to share.

Sometimes, there is beauty in devastation.

Can I live out here in the middle of the mountains?

Another reason I want to live here in isolation

I was too afraid to climb up this rock. 

Such a beautiful sight to behold.

One of the many carving from Rock City

This is for the Morgan Fire Recovery Study camera stands (02)

Another view from the Recovery Study camera stands. :) (03)

If you don't know about this study, you can check it out here: Nerds For Nature

If you would like to see the rest of the photos I took on our hiking adventure, you can see them in my G+ Photos album: Mount Diablo Hike 2014-04-12

Stircrazy

Saturday evening I went out for drinks and the UFC fight.  We had a great time.  I ran into an old bar buddy Patrick from 10 years ago.  It was great to catch up and meet his lady.  I saw my friend Eddie Estrada and spoke to him for a few minutes.  I danced my ass off, and loved it.  It's been a long time since I danced. I love dancing like fool, ha ha.  Well, we were a bit too drunk to drive to Oakley (our original destination), so we planned on taking a taxi or walking to my place.  We decided to walk, which is no big deal for me, I've done it lots of times.  Of course I am the one who steps onto uneven pavement and hurt my right ankle.  Luckily I was wearing some cute cowboy boots and not heels. If I was wearing heels I would have seriously fractured my ankle.



Sunday morning I woke up in pain with some swelling.  By Sunday night it was really swollen and I could not walk.  I was getting pretty worried.  I told myself I would rest and wait it out till Tuesday morning.  If it was still very swollen and painful I would go to the doctor.

  

Sunday morning, R ankle a little swollen

Sunday Afternoon, R ankle getting bigger

Oh I also walked (hobbled) to the store and back.  I was so excited to move around.  I was going crazy laying in bed, not allowed to move. I am very active and can't sit still.  All I can think about is hiking, walking places, and dancing.  Please ankle hurry up and heal. I want to move around.

Monday evening my friend JW came by with a brace and a wrap.  He helped my wrap my ankle up and I left it on for a while.  I took it off to sleep and I rewrapped my ankle Tuesday morning.  My ankle was looking better and a little bruised.  I kept it wrapped most of the day.  When I decided to go downstairs instead of lounging in my bed.  I removed the wrap and used the brace instead.

Tuesday morning, looking better

The kitty decided I needed to share my pillow

This morning when I woke up, my foot and ankle looked so much better.  I'm wearing the brace today and may wrap my foot tonight before bed. I did notice I have a hard time staying comfortable while sleeping. I kept shifting my legs and making my ankle tilt, causing pain.  Maybe wrapping it will stop me from hurting myself.

Wednesday

Did I learn my lesson? Yep, I'll be more careful next time walking home drunk.  Yes we could have took a taxi, but what fun is that?  I love a good adventure, drunk or sober.  I gotta have something to laugh about later.

Lunch Break

Sitting here in my dining room, staring into oblivion, eating a plain ass tuna sandwich.  My day started out pretty darn good, though I did get out of bed an hour and half later than I planned.  Oh well.

I scramble me up some eggs and eat them a little to fast.  shoveling my eggs in my mouth in some hurried frenzy as I log into Facebook and play a game or two, comment on a few posts and check my email.  Sounds like such an exciting morning right?  Pfft I needed to clean house but at the same time I have the need to go for a walk.  I need fresh air... So I do a little cleaning and stop every so often to entertain myself on Facebook.  It seems to be a busy day on my news feed.  I'm glad I am about to head out for my walk now instead of doing it earlier.  Someone irritated me with their disrespectful comments on a friends post and I really need the walk now.  I'll go into more detail once I think the topic through enough to express my personal opinion and not be judgmental towards others.  I respect that we all have our own opinions and ideals of how life should be lived or how to raise children.

So here I am stuffing my face again and allowing someone else to dictate my mood. I don't like that.  I'm not really mad or upset, I guess I'm just boggled by the ignorance that came from the person.  I'm trying to understand their point of view.  It's hard to communicate properly on Social Media sites.  Sometimes we cannot convey our feelings, opinions, and beliefs in a way that someone else could understand.  Misunderstanding happen way too often this way.

Whatever... I'm off for a walk

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Always

There will always be someone who loves you, but you can't love back
There will always be someone you love but they can't love you back.
It's a painful cycle, but I refuse to settle. 

Random Late Night Thought

Lent Is Near

Tomorrow is Fat Tuesday!  Indulge in your sins...  I know I'm going for coffee with my friend Emma and talk about furthering our education.  I'm more excited to catch up with her and hopefully talk about fitness too.

Lent is coming, Lent is coming and guess what? I still have no idea what to give up besides soda.  I want to do the bad carbs and or refined sugars.  The problem is I just don't know enough to give 100%.  I have to give 100% or I won't feel that I completed Lent.  So, I think I will go with No junk food (mostly to remove refined sugars), Soda (again sugars), and processed foods (no pre-made/boxed/packaged crap). I think that would be a good start to better choices in the long run and removing sugars and carbs I do not need.  Also, it will give me time to learn more about good and bad carbs.  Yes?  Sounds good to me.  I will also be fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays- tea and water only.

I will restart an old workout challenge I want to do.  I'll post more about this in detail tomorrow.  I would also like to work on some writing and self awareness.  I will answer one question each day, something about myself, my opinions, beliefs and what not.  If you have a question you would like me to answer, feel free to message me or comment below.  During Lent I will  be working on a new 30 day project.  It will go with my question of the day.   It is called 30 Challenges for 30 days of Growth by marcandangel.com.  I found Marc and Angel on G+ and I enjoy their website.  So I thought I would give their challenge a try during Lent.  I will also use some of their questions for my Question of the Day.  I feel that this will be a great way for me to really get in touch with myself (haha touch myself, yeah okay, it's not funny).  Seriously, I think this will be good for me and I would like it if you would consider doing the same.

I think that's it for now.  I'm tired and waited till way to late to write.  I'll give you the low down on how blogging will be for Lent and where the challenges will fit in.

Good night

Lisa

Of All The Days

I'm laughing and crying at the same time I tell ya.

I had a very hard time sleeping last night.  I am sexually frustrated to the point of pain and tears.  My body aches, I have blue ovaries from hell, and my PMS is through the roof.  I am so emotional today that I cried because my batteries died in my mouse and I couldn't find new ones,  I don't need it, but I was being a baby. I cried this morning when I was unable to masturbate to rid the frustration.  It was too painful and I couldn't get myself going.  You know you're having a bad day when you cry because you can't get off.

 I feel awful for my friend JW. He had to read all my emotional whining today.  Thank you for being such an awesome friend and putting up with my emotional crap! You made my day when you called to cheer me up.  I adore you.

Of all the days for me to be an emotional wreck, it had to be the day of LOVE... Valentine's Day. HA!

On a more happy note:  A random stranger from my neighborhood Yelled out the passenger window of an SUV filled with men HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Have a great Friday and weekend! with a huge smile.  I couldn't help but smile and laugh.  Though he and his friends looked like drug dealers/ gang members, they were all pretty darn happy.  You can't judge a book by it's cover, can you?

Happy Friday kids! here is my valentine to ________________

Frustrated but laughing

Random photo I took

I am trying to edit and organize this blog.  All I am doing is getting mad at myself.  As I go though the entries trying to edit Labels and correct any mistakes, I read bits and pieces and laugh at how silly I can be.  Sometimes i forget how weird or crazy i can be when emotionally drained or in a manic state. I crack myself up.  It's nice and a bit scary to see the things I thought and felt at different times in my life.

Anywho... i think i am almost done.  I will be adding old entries from other blogs that I am deleting here soon. So things may seem a little off.  I will also have a bunch of entries edited and updated.  I am also looking for some fun 30 day challenges to do. If you know about any, PLEASE tell me.

Okay that is all. For now.

Your Friend,

Lisa

Under Construction

I'm trying to get this blog situated.  I apologize for the mess and will have it cleared up soon.

In the meantime here is a photo of random cute animals

I want one

xoxo,

Lisa

Update on my Procrastination.

Yes I'm a procrastinator.  I have admitted this before in an old post.  I'm working on ridding my life of it, but until then I will give you a little update.

UPDATE 1

  I have not finished my revamp and entry swapping yet.
SEE... Procrastination, that bastard!

  All the sex talk entries will be moved to Tumblr.  I will post the link to the blog when I get around to it.  Not all the entries are moving, some will be rewritten and posted.








UPDATE 2
  I have been on a blogging hiatus of sorts.  I have noticed I only blog during extreme emotion.  I don't like that.  I need to work on this problem.  There were times I wanted to blog but I was nowhere near my Mac.  I should just start taking notes on my phone as they come to me.  I do have a list of entries I want to write on in a "Blogging Journal".  It was nice to take a break though and not really think about blogging.  Time to get back into it and be more productive.

UPDATE 3
  I started a Fitness Challenge on January 15th.  It's going okay.  I ended up switching from one fitness plan to another because the new coach and workouts were too advanced for me.  Last week I hurt my lower back and hip.  Some muscle spasms and a pinched nerve for about 5 days. It hurt to walk and sit, it sucked ass.  I'm feeling much better and back on track.  I have not had any soda today and only had one yesterday.  I made cabbage soup for the next few days to help me detox.  I'm not trying to lose weight, but I am trying to learn how to live a healthier lifestyle and strengthen my core.  I'll update you as I go.  I am also using the Body by Vi shakes and I really like them.

UPDATE 4

Over the weekend I went to this awesome book store in El Cerrito called  The Bay Area Free Book Exchange with some friends.  I have been wanting to go ever since I saw them on SF Fun Cheap.  I had well over 100 books to donate and I didn't want to give them to the local library.  I have been holding on to some of these books for years knowing I would never read them. My friend JW is a sweetheart and helped me transport the books.  We get to the book store and I am so freaking excited.  I can't even tell you how happy I was to be there.  So many books to choose from and they're FREE... We left with about 17 books I think.  JW picked out 2 and Kat had maybe 6, I'm not sure.  W & S didn't pick anything out. The ones in the photo are mine.  I want to go again, so if you're interested, let me know.
  JW decided it would be a great day to go to Golden Gate Fields as well.  I have never been so of course I'm going to say Hell Yeah! My first time at a horse track and it was so fun.  I can't wait to go again.

*Hint Hint* VIRGINIA!!!





I will leave you with a quote I read this morning.  I plan on adding it to one of my soon to be rewritten entires.  It is by Tyler Knott Gregson, whom I had never heard of before today.  I am an instant fan.

"Do you think it possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?"