It's All Good

I've been on a wild ride this past year.  Meeting new people, learning new things, starting a new job.... Oh wait, that's everyday in a life type shit... Never mind, I guess it wasn't as wild as I thought.

I have been on this journey to find myself. To become a better person and to be more self aware.  In these last few years I have learned we are a forever changing beings.  As we search for ourselves we change ourselves. We adapt, constantly breaking down and renewing ourselves.  I believe I am going through the breaking down process and it's about time I renewed myself.  In the last year alone, I have learned so much about myself it's ridiculous  My ideals of life, relationships, and self have changed.  What I used to think I might want someday, I now know for sure I want these things to happen in my life. It's time I made them happen.  There are a few things I have put up with and disastrously managed through out my life, thinking there will be a better way or a person to help me understand.  I have learned what that better way is and had a great friend help me understand my feelings on this situation and understand another point of view.  I can now move forward in my life knowing these problems will no longer be, a problem. I can manage with clarity and will not put up with any issues that come my way.

Yes I am being vague.  I am keeping many thoughts and feelings to myself   For now, that is best, and I apologize to my readers if this at all confuses you. My mind has been overflowing with thoughts and I have not yet sorted it all out, but I am working on it the best I can.  Things are changing again.  I used to hate change, I had to have a plan and know every detail in order for my mind to be calm.  I am trying to learn to be more in the now and be spontaneous.  Learning to live in what feels like chaos.  Expect the unexpected at all times.  It is difficult, but I am taking it day by day and getting better.