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| Creator & Author Unknown |
After yesterdays cry & whine fest, and my venting to a friend. I ended up taking a couple Melatonin and crash. It helped, this morning I felt a bit better and decided to get out and go for a nice walk this morning. I was originally going to walk up to Black Diamond Mines, but instead I took a path that lead me to Canal Park and I enjoyed some time on the swings. I went home more relaxed, and I had some time to reflect and write. I think I need to really find out why my past likes to creep up on me, or more so, why I allow it to. The above picture states "It's okay to have a meltdown." Well there was a time I had a meltdown almost daily. I had a hard time controlling my emotions. I also had a hard time facing my fears and my past. I had not only unpacked, but I was living in a state of disaster.
Over the last few years I have been working on not allowing my emotions to run my life, but to pay attention and try to understand what and why i felt the way I do. I have worked hard at not letting my emotions overwhelm me, but as you can see form many of my older entries I am still very much an emotional being. I still have my meltdowns, just not as often and I can usually pinpoint why I am freaking out. So today I sit and write what is bothering me and tell myself to find where the past and present are colliding and figure out what i need to do about it. For the most part, I just need to accept the past as it is- The Past, forgive what was done and myself, and move forward. It sounds simple enough, but nothing is ever as simple as it seems. So, it's a work in progress and that's okay.
Question: Who was there for you when no one else was?
For a long time I had no one. Then I met Ellen, She was there for me during one of my hardest times, I also have Virginia, Becca, and Michelle. They all have been there for me when I needed someone the most. Thank you so much for your friendships ladies. You are much appreciated.
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