What a Waste of a Good Day

Today I had an appointment with an oral surgeon about my jaw and a tooth that may need to be extracted. It was an all day venture because it was in Alameda and I had never been there before. I personally feel it was a complete waste of my time and money. I lost money and time to be told nothing about my jaw (main reason I was there) and that "If you have a toothbrush and floss, you don't need dental insurance." What??? Crazy talk, right? Well, at least I think so.

Worst part of the day. I did not have enough water today. No where near a gallon and I can feel the difference. I also ate McDonald's, Samantha and I had the 20 piece nugget meals. I couldn't eat all of mine. I am surprised as I love their fries. I had a few sips of my soda and tossed it, ate half my medium fries and 6 of my 10 nuggets. I later fed my leftovers to some seagulls. Besides the fast food, I have not eaten anything else. I did buy some water while I was out and had plenty of water at home. Just not enough. My only exercise for today was walking a little bit of yoga. Once I am done with this post I will meditate before I go to bed. Space tomorrow I will be better as I will be buying two gallons of water for work.

Today I started something new called personal push goals. I got the idea from a Facebook friend named Diva Val. I have chosen four goals for February; working out for 30 minutes, drink one gallon of water, meditate 15 minutes and, blog daily. I think it will be a great way to keep up on small goals I want to accomplish. Also, I feel it will be a way for me to have personal accountability of my actions.

I said I was going to share some links with you today. I am not going to explain each one as I am still looking through them and deciding what I will use from each.

30dayfitnesschallenges.

Neilarey.com/

For some reason when I try to add links on my tablet, they get messed up. Grrr

Well I'm off to bed. Good night

Not so sure about Lent this year

Lent is coming up and I have no idea what I could give up. I am thinking of not participating in Lent this year. I decided to Google ideas of what I could do. There are only a hand full of websites that share ideas for Lent. I picked out my favorites, though I'm not sure about a few.

1. Utensils - use your hands or utensils foreign to you (e.g. chop sticks) 
2. Hot water - take only cold showers 
3. Your Bed or a bedding item (e.g. pillow(s) or blanket(s)) 
4. Pants - wear skirts, shorts, or dresses
5. A half hours sleep - Yes, wake up or go to bed a half hour early 
6. The snooze button - depending on how long you snooze for, this might be the same as number 5. 
7. App(s) - clear your phone/tablet of any apps for 40 days or maybe just one.
8. Selfies - goes well with number 7
9. Texting - call, email, write a letter, send a card, or go see people in person. OMG, you might actually have to talk to people. 
10. Swearing - I tried this one once, I didn't make it to the end. 
11. Shopping - this one is sorta on my list. I am claiming 2015 an un-consumption year. No buying anything unless it is absolutely necessary. 
12. Procrastination - this one probably should be on my list. 
13. Wear the same 4 outfits throughout Lent - this one sounds hard for someone who works in the corporate world. I would probably do 5 - 3 work, 1 gym, and 1 casual. Then 1 day a week would be nudist day.  Wait, does gym clothes count as an outfit? 
14. Work or school - I'm not sure about this one, but my last day at work just happens to be the first day of Lent. 

My kids think soda and junk food should be our choices this year, but I do those every year. I'm thinking numbers 6, 11, and 12 would be good choices . I would do 4 and/or 13 if I knew where my job situation was. I'll have to think about whether it is best to skip Lent or suck it up and go for it. 

What are you giving up? 

Ideas from Christianity Today, LifeTeen.com, and Catholicvote.org

Lent March 17 & 18: Cabbage soup & Illness

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

I did nothing special today.  My kids don't like corned beef so I made cabbage soup instead.  love cabbage soup.  I use the recipe from cabbage-soup-diet.com, This site even has a nice diet plan. It works for me when I want to detox.  I won't eat the potatoes or meat until the last day though.

Samantha has not been feeling well and is home sleeping.  This kid keeps having health issues and I'm running out of options.  She'll be eating the cabbage soup and hoping to feel better. I seriously believe she has food allergies and had requested testing done, but it hasn't happened yet.


March 18, 2014

Happy Birthday to Shelby!
My oldest child is 19 today. YES 19, I can't believe that in two years she will be old enough to drink alcohol and go to bars. AAHHH!!  It is hard to believe and say that I have an adult child.  Ha ha adult child sounds funny to me.  I spoke to her on the phone and we talked about her homework.  She had to write a paper on Shakespeare.  Her father was ordering in and they were just going to hang out at home.  I forgot to ask her about graduation.  Poop!  Yep, she also graduates high school this year.  I'm scared and excited to fly to Baltimore.  I haven't seen Shelby since she moved with her father and I have never been to Baltimore or even Maryland. So this will be interesting.  I miss her.

I went to Tailgaters in Antioch for the first time today.  Had some Arrogant Bastard beer and chicken wings. MMMMM Beer and wings, yes please!  I learned they have Goldfish Derbies.  I think that is so cool; I'll have to go back to try it out sometime.  The bartender Rob is a cool dude.  If you go to Tailgaters in Brentwood or Antioch, sit at the bar and hopefully you'll meet Rob.


Question: In one word, What do you want most from your relationship?

Answer: Communication

Lent Day Ten Friday March 14: I'm Excited

Such pretty flowers. Thanks JW

Last night (Thursday), I went out to dinner & a walk with JW and we had a nice time.  We always have a good time, at least I think so.  I might be wrong, who knows.  JW invited me to go to the beach with him and of course I said yes.  The ocean is my sanctuary and my place to reflect, refocus, and gain perspective.   The ocean is the best place to meditate in my opinion.  I am so excited to see the ocean again.

Oh by the way, did I mention how awesome my friend JW is?  He brought me some lovely Daffodils on Wednesday after my meltdown.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate my close friends and all they do.

Question: Where do you go to find peace?

Answer: Nature is the best answer, though it's not really a where.  When I need to find peace, clear my head, or meditate, I go for a walk or I'll bart to San Francisco and enjoy the beach.  Sometimes I will sit and just listen to the world around me.  It calms me and gives me a chance to refocus.

Lent day 8: PMS from HELL

Okay I don't really know what is going on with me.  I have been an emotional mess for days.  This isn't the first time, but the last few months it's been building up within me. Like a battle of demons inside my head and my heart.  I have a challenged past, but who doesn't? Every so often it creeps back up to haunt me. The demons from long ago torment me in my sleep and in my head.  Before I would find ways to suppress them.  I would try to pretend they were not there and hope they go away. Something is different this time and they are stronger than ever.

I have been a whining, crying super brat to my friend JW. This poor guy has been trying to deal with my crap the last few days because no one else is brave enough.  Okay, I didn't cry to anyone else because most of my friends would have ran away.  All I have to say is THANK YOU!  thank you for letting me vent and cry to you. Thank you for putting up with my pmsing girly shit.  You are an amazing friend!

What have I realized from all the venting and kindness from my friend?  Maybe this time, I should figure out why they keep coming back to me.  Maybe it's time to face why these things bother me so much. I need to find a way to accept, understand, and release these demons from my thoughts, heart and soul.  Only then will I be free to move forward and be a better me.

I saw an article that I want to share with you.  One of the topics is about mindful meditation. I have done that before years ago and i think it's time to start again.

8 Ways to Defeat Persistent Unwanted Thoughts


I will be skipping the question tonight. I am emotionaly drained from the day and all my crying (yes I was seriously crying) and venting.

Thank you and good night

Lisa

Wish List Wednesday

I think I want to bring this back.  I miss telling you all about the weird and lovely things I wish I owned.  I usually post photos with them, but not today. I'm lazy.

Lets get started shall we.

First:  I want the Leaf Bloom Rechargable Massager $140
Wait a sec... $140.00?  Holy moose knuckle!  Oh but it's flexible, has two usable ends, discreet and well, it's super cute.  I really want it!



Second: How about the Icicles No. 24
It goes for a nice $69.95.. ooohhh I just want it because it looks cool.  Something out of an hentai.  Not to mention it is glass and I  have always wanted a glass dildo.



Okay last one: How about something cute to wear 2Pc Hollywood Chemise Set
Cute, right? For $32.95? not bad.

Happy Easter & an update

  I hope everyones Easter has gone well.  Mine was mellow until now; David just walked in the door.  It will soon be video game time.   

  March seemed to go by so fast.  Though I was super stressed with school and the load of work I had & still have, I am doing pretty good.  March was self awareness month for the 30 day challenges.  During this time I learned a lot about myself and had one to many talks with myself about stupid things I was doing.  I realized I was sabotaging myself way too much.  I was causing my own pain & heart ache over things I could not control.  I was also allowing myself to procrastinate again and getting angry when I didn't have what I wanted done.  I am my own worst enemy.  So, I decided it was time to become my own best friend and work on keeping on task, double checking myself, and working towards my personal goals.  I even made some new goals that will be added to my bucket list and 30 day challenges.  

  Lent is over, YAY! I only gave up beef & pork this year. Yes, I know I said I was giving up all that other stuff. It was so much more difficult with school and my will power was gone.  I have reduced my soda intake by a lot and I have started baking my own snacks & desserts.  So I did more of a reduce everything rather than give it up completely.  I was super jealous when my kids were eating beef jerky. 

  April is upon us with new challenges and lots of exciting plans.  I have started some new fitness fun and added some health apps to my phone to help me out.  Though April is my 30 day art challenge, I will be starting some health challenges as well.  These health challenges are to get me started for Mays Fitness Challenge.  Let me share with you what I am doing. 

The Daily Hiit (Body Rock) - Fitness & diet tips. Great workout videos and Lisa Marie (she has my name) is an awesome host. This site also has 30 day challenges YAY! I have been following this site for a long time.  The workouts kick my ass but, they are well worth it.

Lose It! - Food & Fitness tracker. You can use the website or the app. I have both.  I love the app because it has a barcode scanner.  I started scanning my food, which made me more aware of how much I was eating.  I started eating only the serving size instead of as much as I wanted.  I have lost 6 pounds in March and plan on losing a bit more.  There are challenges you can participate in (I'm doing a water challenge), tips and weight tracker. 

Blogilates - I just started using this site last week.  I have been doing their Sexy Broom Burn video.  Love It!  There are some nice exercises to do and they sell some cute workout clothes. 

My Tracks - You can get this in the Google Play store.  I just downloaded it yesterday so I haven't used it quite yet.  I have been walking everyday and I wanted a way to track my steps and where I was going.  I'll let you know how it goes. 

Hiit Interval Training Timer - This can also be found in the Google Play store.  This works well with the Daily Hiit and for walking, jogging or running. 

  So, yeah, there you have it.  I'll post my progress starting tomorrow. 

10 pm already? Ugh.

Where did the day go?  Oh that's right to cleaning, working, and time with my daughter. I'm trying to remove any unused items from my home again. It's been bothering me that i keep having to move stuff around in my closet to find other stuff.  I had to dig for a pair of pants today. Samantha and i went to see The Hobbit again. We invited her friend Hailey who had not seen it. The movie was played in one of the smaller theaters and had maybe 50 seats. This lady decided to sit one seat away from me, and she talked through the whole movie. I think she said WOW about 30 times and OH, did you see _____? Uhm NO we didn't cause we're all blind. Why do people like this even go to movies? I would have been embarrassed to be there with her. She was so loud and awful that I got up and moved.

Once I got home I got to work on a project I have been working on for some time. I am taking a break while writing this blog. My eyes hurt from looking at the screen, so after this i will shower to relax before getting back to work.  I think I want to revise my goals/ resolutions blog. I read a great blog that gave me some ideas for my 365 project and 30 days challenges. I have shared the blog before, she is one of my favorite writers, please check out Marelisa Fabrega at her blog daringtolivefully.com . So I will update that this weekend.  I will also update my Project 365 as well. I will not post photos everyday but once a week. I think it will be too much to do it everyday since I will have my 30 day challenges to do. I am thinking that the 30 day challenges should be separate blogs, but I'll start that next week.  Okay kids, I'm done for now. Sweet dreams.

~Lisa

Day 2 of 30 Self Portrait Challenge

I'm a bit embarrassed that I allowed this to happen

“Following-through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things”. ~ Gene Hayden 
 (http://daringtolivefully.com/procrastination-quotes)

I have been lazy lately. Procrastinating to the fullest. I AM A PROCRASTINATOR. I always have been, but I would have moments of  mass productivity. It's as if someone came up to me and wound the little handle and whoosh I am off, then I wind down and ppfft nothing, until someone else winds me up.  Why does it have to be someone else? Do you see my dilemma? Do you see how I am hurting myself waiting for others to wind up my ass? Haha, wind up my ass sounds naughty. 

I have lists upon lists of things I want or need to do. Lists of goals from years ago. I'm just finding them now because I cleaned out some boxes and files. I'll have to take a picture or scan some to show you what I mean. I'm still sorting through them to see if any important phone numbers or addresses are on them. I have also found old school notebooks, old homework, and i even found some money, YAY, okay not really. I think it's awful to find money while cleaning, that means i was being irresponsible with it in the first place. Though there are rare times I hide money, but I am specific on where to hide it.

What does being a procrastinator, getting wound up, and having a mess have to do with each other in this post? I never get anything done because I am always waiting for someone to crack the whip or wind me up. Sometimes that crack of the whip is when I see how well others my age are doing. I think "What the hell did I do with my life?" Having kids is no excuse, yes my kids have always come first, but what else did I accomplish? Nothing is the answer. I can't find anything I have done worth acknowledging. I feel like somehow I failed at life. A horrible way to talk to myself, right? Well it's the way I feel sometimes and it's those moments that wind me up and get me going. I'm not a fan of the "Keep up with the Jones" lifestyle. I don't want the newest gadget or have nice things to show my friends. That's not what this is. Sometimes we need something to happen for us to re-evaluate or life. Today just happens to be one of those days. 

So, what am I embarrassed about? Being the unaccomplished lame procrastinating list maker. That's what! It's awful and I need to do something about it because I am tired of being in this self hating state. Only I can make my life better, not the other person who has to come wind me up.  The decisions I have made in the past have put me where i am today. Some decisions have cost me precious time and people. I can't get those back and I know it, yet here I am dwelling on old lists and being a jealous brat. I keep telling myself I want to change, I keep making lists, writing blogs, and crying about how unhappy I am. I'm not just embarrassed, I'm disgusted in myself for allowing it to get this bad. 

I have been reading two blogs that I feel inspirational. I have done some of the homework and lessons these blogs have offered. The first blog is daringtolivefully.com by Marelisa, I have been following her blog for quiet some time. Though I have not attempted all her techniques, she has many to offer. I am working on her 7 part mini course called Create and Achieve Your Life List. Ironic huh? The life list is similar to a Bucket List and well that's how I found this blog. I was looking up Bucket list information. The second blog is by a man named Julien, the site is called inoveryourhead.net. In over my head is right. He just started giving out homework on weekends. Though I have not been posting how my homework went over the weekend. I think I should start. This weekend is about Confidence. I am to emulate the person i fell has the confidence I want. So we'll see if I can do it. 

I think this is a step in the right direction, both blogs help show you how to get rid of the fog and negativity in your head. They give ideas on how to be more productive, mindful, and self awareness. I just need to read them more and really start paying attention to my feelings. Instead of letting my feelings overwhelm me, I could meditate or take a moment to release those feelings in some writing. I need to start writing down how I feel right when I feel it, so I can work on understanding it. Then I can become more mindful of my feelings and actions. While I am working on my emotional state I can start getting out in the world and living life. No more envy,disappointment, and self hate. I know it will take time, but i know I can do it. At least that's what I keep telling myself today.

~Lisa

Update I guess.

I have been busy but not. I hurt my foot and went to the emergency room. Yay me! They didn't do an ex-ray but said I sprained my ankle and tore some ligaments. I don't know how they figured that all out just by looking at my foot. What else happened... oh yeah I dyed my hair blondish, I'm going to San Francisco for the weekend and my sons birthday is coming up.
I found this website called 30daychallenges.net and think I will try it out. I saw a few challenges I would like to try, plus I think it would be a great way to get my mind focused. I think there are some good writing projects in there as well. If you try or have tried 30daychallenges.net please let me know what you think. Also, my friend Tammi told me about another great website called National Novel Writing Month, now I'm not that great of a writer but it is on my bucket list to write a novel and here is my start. Thank you so much Tammi.
I'll leave my thoughts here for now. I''l try to post my San Francisco adventure this weekend. We're smogging the van and going to see The Raven. I am so freaking excited, about seeing The Raven, not smogging the van. HA

xoxo,
Lisa

P.S.  Spellcheck wants to change smogging into SNOGGING. We don't want to make out with the van. sheesh, haha

A photo of me looking creepy 4.26.12

Wishlist Wednesday

Sarah: I can bear it no longer! Goblin King! Goblin King! Wherever you may be take this child of mine far away from me! 
Goblin: That's not it! Where did she get that rubbish? It doesn't even start with "I wish!"

Every time I hear "I wish" I think of the movie Labyrinth. It's Wednesday and I have a wish or two, and here they are. From Urban Outfitters.

I want these cute flowers. They look awesome. You get 25 for $40.00. hmmm though they are made of something much more sturdy than paper. I think I could make some myself.  I still want them though.














Next is a duvet cover also from urban Outfitters. I love the fact that it's reversible and has folk woodwork art on it. I have a book with those patterns in it. I love vintage art and this would look awesome in my room.

I really like what is offered they even have some awesome books I really want like Snuggle Sutra :)

I guess thats it for now. We'll see if Urban Outfitters gets pissed because I used their photos even though I linked the crap. Have a good night.

xoxo,

Lisa