Nope, I Won't Do That

I recently read a post called The Things I Won't Do For Love.  There is a review of a movie I have never heard of called Like Crazy.  Not something I would rush to watch.  Maybe someday I will, IF it's shows up on Netflix and I'm bored.  The movie is not what I am here to talk about.  The author of this post asked an interesting question. One I have thought about, but not really thought about:
What won't you do for Love?
She tells us what she won't do/give up for love, and talks about how her list will prepare her boyfriend (imaginary).  She also talks about some of the crazy things her friends DID for love.  The comments were great as well.
So now I want to think about it and tell you what it is I will not do for love. I think I will make it a list, what I won't give up or do in the name of love. I'll try to keep it simple, but you know me, I have to explain everything. This is what my boyfriend (mine is also imaginary) should know.

• MY KIDS.  They are mine for life. If they need me, I'm there at any age. 
• BOOKS. My first love
• PIZZA. I won't let you go
• BACON & BEEF JERKY
• GOALS & DREAMS   
• FRIENDS & FAMILY
• MASTURBATION* 
• LET YOU GIVE UP OR LOSE YOURSELF. I will always support the ones I love, even if I don't agree. 
• GIVE UP OR LOSE MYSELF. Been there, done that. It won't happen again 

I thought about music, porn, movies, and even soda.  I can find happy & healthy compromises for those.  Sometimes we lose ourselves in relationships and give up more than we should to keep someone.  Taking care of and loving yourself should always be first.  It is said that you cannot love another if you do not love yourself.  I believe this to be true. Strive to better yourself everyday, support the ones you love, and always love & care for yourself first.  It's not selfish, loving yourself first helps you love others better.  

*I say masturbation and not sex because in the event of illness or other medical/physical reason my boyfriend (mine is also imaginary) is unable to perform I am happy to give up sex. Though there are many ways to be intimate, some people may want to forgo any type of sexual activity.  That's okay, we don't have to if you don't want to. I will however, pleasure myself in private. Unless you want to watch, that's cool too, but I think it would be frustrating.  This is why communication, understanding, compromise, and love are very important. 

On an end note, the author of the post mentioned one of my favorite singers of all time.  So I HAVE to post his video, duh...  Meatloaf: I would do anything for love (but I won't do that) Enjoy!

P.S. I would give my imaginary boyfriend a name, but then people would think I had a real boyfriend or think I am super lame. 

Will you be my Anti-Valentine?

I know what you are thinking.  I've been single three years and I'm just bitter and jealous of all the ladies getting gifts on Valentine's Day.

NOPE! WRONG!

I don't really HATE Valentine's Day.  I just don't see the point in it.  Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't be grateful for gifts and attention on that day.  To me, it's just another day.   Why do we need a special day to tell someone we care and shower them with gifts?  Personally it would mean a lot more to me if I got flowers on any random day, just because.  By the way I dislike red roses.  The are so overrated.  Give me some sunflowers, dahlias, or  how about some random ass wildflowers you picked before you came to see me.  I love chocolate just like most ladies,  but why wait to have some.  I'll eat it any day of the year.  Actually, I buy that stuff weekly.  Bring me beer, whiskey & coke, and maybe a pizza instead.

The idea of women comparing, competing and crying over what their men got them or didn't get them is just sad.  Appreciate their efforts for crying out loud.  And men, you make me laugh when you go above and beyond with gifts hoping to get whatever sexual desire she likes to hold out on.  Ladies don't hold out on sex for gifts.  That's awful.  Give the guy a blow job or anal.  If you really don't like it,  don't use it as a way to get a gift you want only to fake that you're enjoy the sexual treat.  It can ruin the moment.

I'm the type of person that does not wait for a special occasion to show you I care, give you extra super duper affection, and/or give you a gift.  It will happen when it pops in my head.  If I buy you a gift, it's just because it made me think of you. There are only two special days I feel it is important for me to give someone extra attention and gifts: Birthday and Anniversary.  All other Holidays are optional and open for discussion.  

Now IF, I ever date a man who enjoys celebrating any Holiday, I will be down to participate.  Just don't make it a big deal if you don't like the Valentine's day. Talking about how much you hate it and don't want to participate over and over again is like a slap in the face. Hoping I agree so you don't have to spend money is just rude.  How hard is it to kindly ask my opinion of the darn Holiday?

Okay, so some of you are thinking, what about Saint Patrick's Day, Mardi Gras, Cinco De Mayo and any other holiday you get to indulge in drunken stupidness?  Like I said, They are open for discussion. As above, I always welcome beer as a gift any day of the week and ALL Holidays.

By the way Singles Awareness Day is Saturday February 15 and Steak and Blow Job Day is March 14.  Do not wait until March 14th to give your man a blow job or steak.  At the bare minimum that should be once a week.

So, if you want to be my Anti-Valentine, bring me some beer.  Or you could bring me beer just because, which is way better.

xoxo,

Lisa

P.S. I will end this silly entry with a song. A song that I adore and I sing along to the Joan Osborne version all the time.

What was I saying?

So I haven't been posting much lately.  I'm sure no one noticed though, so it's all good.  A lot has happened in the last month and I won't go into awesome details, but it has been awesome.  Mind blowing awesome!

Mostly I want to apologize for the worst blog post ever.  Last night I wrote a blog about love.  It was shit.  One of the worst blogs I have ever written.  After reading it this morning I realized it didn't make any sense, my thoughts were all over the place and I somehow removed some things I was trying to say. I was distracted while writing (no excuse), and well my heart wasn't in it.  Funny right?  My heart wasn't into writing about LOVE.  Ha, what a joke.  So, I am going to revise it, and post it again once I feel the blog post conveys my deepest, truest emotions and opinions on love.  It means I'm taking the post DOWN... for now.

Thank you for reading and again, I apologize.  I need a nap or maybe a beer.

Lisa