In The Absence of Sex

Two years ago I attempted to explore a variety of dating and sexual encounters. It fizzled out quickly.  I was bored or unimpressed with the people involved.  I thought maybe it was me at first.  Then I realized I just didn't like the experience as much as I thought I would.  After years of so-so situation-ships and two failed long term relationships (One was extremely toxic), I felt that I needed to remove myself from any "adult" activities. 

During these last two years I did re-attempt some form of dating but failed.  The men I met only wanted sex or thought sex was a way to get to know someone.  Uhm, no sir, that is not how you get to know me.   I can't believe how many guys on social media go straight to dick pics after a few minutes of chatting.  SLOW DOWN DUDE!!  Men at bars or at other public places were so quick to want to hook up.  The few I gave my number to would text me way too much and get upset if I didn't respond right away.  Clingy much??  There were a few who were nice guys, but they were not a good fit for me.  The bad relationships strike again, seeing red flags early on when talking to men.  Yes, I am set in my ways and I may have too many deal breakers.  I keep telling myself to wait until I move next year.  I'll have better luck in a new place.  Will I really?  What are the chances?  I feel defeated here in this drug infected town.  The thought of "All the good ones are taken" comes to mind.  I know that's not true.  I think I'm just a pain in the ass and too lazy to try.

Interesting fact: I no longer have interest in sex.  I quit watching porn and boxed up my adult toys.  Yup, I am 100% sex free!!  Though I am proud of this, I do wonder if it has anything to do with my depression.  I can't remember the last time I had any "relief".  The only time I get the urge is at the end of my monthly cycle.  I take a nice long bath and I'm good.  Sex is good for you and helps you stay healthy.  Sometimes I wonder if my lack of desire is part of my health issues.  How does one go about finding out of that is the case?  I can't talk to my doctor about it.  So who do I go to?  Oh poop!! I forgot to schedule my pap and mammogram appointment.  Oopsy!!

FBGM...

bestlovequoteslove.com

Plain and simple... Fuck Bitches Get Money! No time for Bull Shit.

I'm keeping my goals to myself and one other.  What I do in private is no ones business. My income, bank account, and next move are private, I clearly have no sex life since I work a lot and that's okay. I'm tired of the drama, gossip, and disloyalty.  What happened to helping, and supporting each other?
I need to find like minded people.  My inner circle will stay the same, but it's time to build around the Yin and Yang.


Virg- You are the Yin to my Yang, or is it the other way around. Haha

XOXO

Will you be my Anti-Valentine?

I know what you are thinking.  I've been single three years and I'm just bitter and jealous of all the ladies getting gifts on Valentine's Day.

NOPE! WRONG!

I don't really HATE Valentine's Day.  I just don't see the point in it.  Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't be grateful for gifts and attention on that day.  To me, it's just another day.   Why do we need a special day to tell someone we care and shower them with gifts?  Personally it would mean a lot more to me if I got flowers on any random day, just because.  By the way I dislike red roses.  The are so overrated.  Give me some sunflowers, dahlias, or  how about some random ass wildflowers you picked before you came to see me.  I love chocolate just like most ladies,  but why wait to have some.  I'll eat it any day of the year.  Actually, I buy that stuff weekly.  Bring me beer, whiskey & coke, and maybe a pizza instead.

The idea of women comparing, competing and crying over what their men got them or didn't get them is just sad.  Appreciate their efforts for crying out loud.  And men, you make me laugh when you go above and beyond with gifts hoping to get whatever sexual desire she likes to hold out on.  Ladies don't hold out on sex for gifts.  That's awful.  Give the guy a blow job or anal.  If you really don't like it,  don't use it as a way to get a gift you want only to fake that you're enjoy the sexual treat.  It can ruin the moment.

I'm the type of person that does not wait for a special occasion to show you I care, give you extra super duper affection, and/or give you a gift.  It will happen when it pops in my head.  If I buy you a gift, it's just because it made me think of you. There are only two special days I feel it is important for me to give someone extra attention and gifts: Birthday and Anniversary.  All other Holidays are optional and open for discussion.  

Now IF, I ever date a man who enjoys celebrating any Holiday, I will be down to participate.  Just don't make it a big deal if you don't like the Valentine's day. Talking about how much you hate it and don't want to participate over and over again is like a slap in the face. Hoping I agree so you don't have to spend money is just rude.  How hard is it to kindly ask my opinion of the darn Holiday?

Okay, so some of you are thinking, what about Saint Patrick's Day, Mardi Gras, Cinco De Mayo and any other holiday you get to indulge in drunken stupidness?  Like I said, They are open for discussion. As above, I always welcome beer as a gift any day of the week and ALL Holidays.

By the way Singles Awareness Day is Saturday February 15 and Steak and Blow Job Day is March 14.  Do not wait until March 14th to give your man a blow job or steak.  At the bare minimum that should be once a week.

So, if you want to be my Anti-Valentine, bring me some beer.  Or you could bring me beer just because, which is way better.

xoxo,

Lisa

P.S. I will end this silly entry with a song. A song that I adore and I sing along to the Joan Osborne version all the time.

The Single Life: Dating, Intimacy, and Sex or lack there of.

This beautiful art is by People Everyday At Deviant Art

I've been wanting to blog about my serious issue.  Okay, it's really not that serious, just to me it is.

I have been technically single for 3 years now.  I have dated, most did not make it past dates 1-3.  Sad, I know.  It's not that I am picky or anything.  I just know what I am looking for.  Now this isn't what I really want to write about, but it is connected.

My issue is intimacy and sex.  I can't tell you how jealous I am of everyone who is getting some right now. I can't remember the last time I was intimate with someone or even when I had sex last.  Masturbation does not count in my book.  I miss it, all of it.  The holding of hands, the hugs and kisses, and amazing sex.  Yes, I know I can easily call up one of my many guy friends and ask for a sexual favor.  Most would be at my door within minutes, but I don't want that.  For the first time in 3 years I actually want a relationship.  I want to have that one person I can go to for anything.  But no, I am sitting here in front of my laptop writing about it instead.

In the last year I had finally become comfortable with being single and being alone.  Masturbation had become a daily (sometimes up to 3x a day) routine.  I would go on dates here and there, but had no interest in becoming more.  So I quit going on dates.  I don't want to waste anyones time.  Nor do I want to lead anyone on giving them false hope that we may one day be together.  My biggest problem with dating was some men were in such a hurry to be in a relationship just so they could have sex.  I would say "I'm not ready for a relationship" their response " oh, okay well when you're ready let me know". DUDE! I just fucking met you, and you already annoy me.  Then there are the guys who are totally fine with me not being ready and have the nerve to say " well we could just hang out and have sex occasionally." Uhm how about NO!   YES, I'm just as sexually frustration as you are, but I will not settle for your sorry ass.  Okay, that was a bit mean, but I had so say it a few times.

I also don't like that masturbation has taken up a considerable amount of time in my day.  I can't tell you how much porn I've watched in the last few weeks alone.  My Tumblr follows are mostly some kind of porn or nudity.  Yes, I know I am a pervert.  Even Masturbation gets boring after a while, and porn, well it makes me more sexually frustrated than anything.  Like I said I could call a friend for help, but I don't want a friend with benefits, a booty call, or a fuck buddy.  I tried the friends with benefits.  It didn't work out.

Why the change of heart?  I have no idea really.  I've been thinking about it a lot and, if I know what I'm looking for in a significant other,  I have no problem starting a committed relationship with the person who best fits what I am looking for.  Right?  As I write this up and re-read it, I feel like I'm whining. Maybe I am.  My biggest worry is I will settle. I don't want to do that.  I will not settle.

P.S. I have a crush on someone I can't have.  This bring the frustration to a whole new level.  I say crush because I don't know him well enough to say it's more than that.  I also prayed for the first time in a long time last night.  Weird, right?

Kiss kiss

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 9: Your last Kiss
My last kiss, well that was with Ryan and that is all I'm going to say. I'm not going into details or anything so you'll just have to deal with it.

Here are some random facts about kissing:
1. The science of kissing is called Philematology.
2. Lips are far more sensitive than the genitals.
3. French kissing uses all 34 muscles in the face.
4. Passionate kissing burns 6.4 calories per minute.
5. It is possible for women to reach orgasm through kissing.
These fun facts are brought to you by randomhistory.com

I don't know about you but, I love kissing. To be honest I AM one of the women that can have an orgasm from kissing. IF the person I am kissing knows what they are doing obviously. We all hate bad kissers and we all have our preferences on how to kiss. Is bad kissing a deal breaker? Have you dumped or decided not to date someone because they can't kiss? I have, cause I'm mean like that.Okay okay, It was only once and in high school. I forgot his name. I just won't kiss the person or try to get out of it as fast as I can. I'm sorry but it's a total turn off if you suck at kissing. Something I have noticed in the last few years is that people don't kiss as much anymore. What are you afraid of? That you suck??? Cause you probably do. So get some practice... Go out and kiss someone!

What is your favorite way to kiss?

Two girls kissing and some boobs in the background YAY!

30 Day Blog & Music Challenge: Day 7

Music Challenge for today was to listen to a song suggest by someone named Ashley. I don't know anyone by that name so I will skip a song for today. Now on to the blog challenge

30 Day Blog Challenge: Your opinion on cheating on people.

Cheat- to defraud, deceive and/or deprive another of ....

Of what? Love, hope, faithfulness, honesty? How about all of the above and maybe more. The dictionaries say sexually unfaithful, but what about emotionally? I believe cheating is wrong, no matter what excuses you make. With a variety of relationships to choose from these days; people really need to set boundaries and rules when establishing a new relationship. You cant just assume that the one you want to date has the same values or beliefs as you do. Not everyone views cheating the same. My view is If we are in an exclusive relationship then anything you do with another female without my knowledge is cheating. This is sexting, sending or receiving sexual photos (email or phone, nude/semi-nude included) You need to share that shit, I like to look at titties too, I don't care if she's your friend with a husband and kids. If you go out on dates even with a friend (if you can't tell me that you are going out to eat or a movie with a friend then you have issues and are untrustworthy). To really be 100% honest my only 3 rules are be HONEST/OPEN , treat me BETTER than your female friends, and NO SEX with anyone else, unless we are in an alternative relationship and rules are set about other people. You can tell me about the fun you had with a female friend and how you guys went to the movies and had a great lunch. That is fabulous! But for some reason people hide stupid shit like that and then you wonder why people get jealous? You caused the jealousy in the first place. You are complimenting your female friend more/better than your girlfriend (cause you assume the GF "knows" what you think of her). It's nice to get compliments, flowers, gifts and surprises to remind us that you do care. If we treat each other as if we just met through the whole relationship, then there would be no desire for cheating. Keep it fresh people. Sadly some people get too relaxed or bored, relationships get stale, then they meet someone they think might be better. Then there are the people who always think the grass is greener on the other side or looking for the bigger,better, deal.

This may explain why I'm not dating at the moment. Apparently I'm too closed minded.

P.S. Yes you can go on a date with a friend and it means nothing more than spending time with that friend. There are more than one kind of date.

5 things that irritate me about the opposite sex/same sex

30 day blog challenge day 5:  5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex.


MEN:
1. Shaving- It's acceptable for them to grow hair anywhere on their bodies and yet they shave it all the way off. WHY? Just trim damn it. I don't want to rub up on a prickly body that shit hurts.

2. The Sexist Pig- There's men who know how to joke around and say stupid things towards female friends (it can be funny ladies don't take everything to heart) and then there are the men who mean every word that comes out of their mouths. These guys were raised by other pigs or hurt by some c*nt and now their mad at all the other girls. STOP BEING INSECURE.

3 The Mommas Boy- Stop letting your mother meddle in every detail of your life. Your mom doesn't need to do your laundry, cook your food, pick your girlfriend and support you. I know plenty of men who live with their mothers and can still maintain a separate life. So why do you mommas boys need your mother to decide for you?  Grow the fuck up!

4. Saggy Baggy Jeans- Guys that shit went out of style years ago. Plus you look stupid. Normally I say do what makes you happy but this wearing underwear-shorts/sweats-pants under your ass is really annoying. Do you realize that by the time you are 45 you will already need hip and knee replacement due to the way you walk now trying to keep your pants in the right spot? Buy pants that fit and a belt.

5. Insecure Men- It is not attractive at all. Please stop it. I don't want to hear "eww I look fat" or "do i look fat in this?" The worst 2 I have heard is: I think my dick is too small or I don't last that long in bed. BITCH PLEASE! There is nothing wrong with you. If I didn't like what you had to offer I wouldn't stick around. Girls say that mean shit to you cause they are EVIL & insecure. Be confident and you find a woman who loves you just the way you are.

WOMEN:
1.Insecure Women- Stop allowing society & other insecure people ruin your self esteem. I know it's hard sometimes. I used to be called fat, ugly, and stupid all the time. Now I don't care (and I'm 30 pounds heavier) I like myself enough to not worry about what other think of me.Yes there will be days when you feel like shit and hate yourself, but meditate, vent, eat chocolate, cry and/or watch a movie and let it go. Stop putting yourself down, Stop hating yourself, and Start loving yourself.  That doesn't mean become a C*nt (see #5)

2. Self Haters- These are the girls that judge themselves and others. These are the girls who gossip all the time and are two faced. These are the girls who are insecure and jealous about the silliest things. These are the girls we become when we lose ourselves. Don't be this girl.

3. The Follower- This is a girl who agrees to everything her friends say and can become The Roommate if you're not careful. This girl has a hard time making friends and becomes clingy, She's also a clingy girlfriend, so when she gets a man she'll disappear for a bit. Be ready when the boyfriend runs away because she'll need you to guide her. This bitch is creepy

4. The over/under dressed- When I go to the store I either see women running around in nasty old pajamas or dressed as if they are going to the club. You can look nice in a pair of jeans and a tee with some light make-up not a mask. This ain't cosmetology school or the circus please tone down your face. Please wear clothes that cover your ass. I dont need to see your crusty worn out thong. If half your ass is being squeezed and pushed out the top of your jeans then guess what? Your pants don't fit and I have to walk past your nasty ass to buy food. Not cool.

5. The C*nt- I hate this word with a passion. I think it is the most disrespectful thing you can call a woman. Sadly there are a few who deserve this title. Who are they you ask. They are the women above rolled into one. The all knowing, insecure, self hating, jealous, venom spewing, piece of shit. She is the Frienemy, she is the roommate, she is the one who may have more than two faces, she longs for your man, smiles in your face and then sabotages your life. She can be the neighborhood snitch/ whore/ gossip. Take your pick. This beast calls the kettle black, not realizing she is projecting her self hate on to everyone else. No matter what you say or do she will one up you, because she always has to be #1. Not realizing she is transparent and sad to look at. This woman ( I really hate to call her that) has been hurt to the point she has to hurt others to make herself feel better. What a Bully! Get over yourself chick and stop the hate!

From people of walmart

www.nytimes.com (2007)

Good Friday. What's so good about THIS Friday?

Isn't every Friday a good Friday? It's the weekend... DUH!

So wrong.

Yeah yeah I know. All my religious friends almost died of a heart attack just now. No meat this Friday. Oh wait, you're not supposed to have meat on any Friday. Yep that's right. Most of you didn't know that, huh? Or do you just ignore it because you really need that In & Out burger done animal style? Wow that sounded sexual. *HIGH 5* .

If you eat meat on any Friday you are to abstain from some other sinful, joyful, dirty, little treat you enjoy. So the question for me would have been Meat or sex? hhmm.. If I had to choose I will pick MEAT to abstain from. I can't give up sex. Well I can and did, but.. never mind. Moving on. I'm not having meat on Good Friday because I gave it up for Lent. I think I'll just have some cereal and cheese its. Not together of course. Milk and cheese its sound weird. Maybe I'll try it... I said maybe.
Well I hope it's an awesome weekend for everyone. Even if you do not celebrate the holiday.

Lent: Day 36

  I figured out what day of Lent I was on. Depending on which day you start on your Lent can be 40 days or 42 days long. I have actually chosen the 42 day path. I'm not 100% sure what the difference is for starting Lent on Monday (Eastern Catholicism) or Ash Wednesday (Western Catholicism).  All I know is one is Western and the other Eastern. Maybe I should research it since I practice Lent. I have done pretty well this year especially with giving up so much. I did cheat a few times, and Ryan and I had a deal where if we cheated we had to add a week for each cheat. I will not be doing that this year because some of the things I have given up for Lent with be permanent or reduced.

  I will be giving up beef & soda permanently. I will be reducing my pork (once a week) and poultry (twice a week) intake. I will also reduce my cussing. Sex is easy to reduce because I am not in a relationship (so no need for sex) and I deleted all porn off my computer. I'm keeping the masturbation because it's good for me and it helps me sleep. Dining out will be for special occasions only (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.).  Social Networking- though I did not give it up completely, I have reduced my time. I try to log in at certain times of the day instead of leaving it on all day. I will reduce it to 2 log ins a day, 30 minutes long. So an hour a day to stalk you should be good.

Lent: Day 26? Saturday

It was a semi lazy day. My son David and I went shopping for shoes. It took 5 stores to find shoes for that kid. He's not really picky, but he was worried about how much I would spend. Awww so nice of him.  While we shopped Samantha went to see HOP with her aunt Denise and uncle Burt. Samantha said it was a cute movie. They took Samantha shopping after for a new helmet and a football pump. She won a football at school Friday, but it was deflated. I didn't know you could get them that way. As soon as Samantha got home, she ran into the dining room and started pumping up her football. She was so excited. I can't help but think how awesome it is to have a daughter who loves football.

I got the laundry ready to wash and had 2 tuna sandwiches. I didn't think sorting laundry made me so hungry. I'll get up and wash in the morning. Good thing the wash room doesn't open till 10:00. I get to sleep in. YAY!



Lent is going well. It is very hard to not curse. It is also hard to not think about sex. I have been tempted to masturbate again, but have not. I think maybe because I am close to starting my menstrual cycle again. I am craving sweets and spicy food. I am also getting heavy into the fitness thing. I have been walking/ jogging everyday and I think I want to extend it. I am only doing 30 minutes, but I think I want to go one hour. and up my jogging. we'll see.

Just wanted to share this. 

Have a good night... 

oh and....

Lent Days 22-24

I took some time off from over stimulation. I did get online to check emails, and read news. Some how yesterday I got stuck watching literal music videos after reading a music news blog about them. I think I watched all of them. There was some that were super awful, but it didn't really matter I still laughed. Here is a link to a literal Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Lent is going pretty well. After my psychotic masturbation frenzy I was fine. So it seems I can only go a couple of weeks before I need to release the sexual pressure. I wonder if guys go through that? I have been drinking a lot of tea and i think I need to switch to decaf because I am having a serious time getting to sleep. My time and days are way off.  I think this weekend I will only drink water and hot green tea. I need to give my body a break. I started the Body Rock exercises and have been doing a walk/jog intervals for 30 minutes everyday. That Body rock program is no joke. i was hurting after four minutes and then after that Samantha wanted me to workout with her using my Kathy Smith DVD. I bought it at Big Lots for $2.00, but Walmart is selling it for around $6.00. I cannot keep up with Kathy Smiths 80's workout. Samantha loves it and can keep up. I can get about half way through one of her workouts then I have to take a break. I remember when I could do 2 or more of the Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies. Oh, now I want that, can you still buy the set? Kathy Smith's video is pretty good. It has 3 different workouts on one DVD. It was worth the $2.00.

Okay well I'm off to bed. Good Night!

Lent: Day ?? *^%#@%^*&*^&%$ (NSFW links)

I have been a bit depressed lately and i am trying to get things moving along in life.

Who am I kidding? No one. I am so F^*%ing out of it right now. My face is starting to hurt from the fake @$$ smile I've been carrying around. I'm tired, not interested in food and I cheated on my Lent. Honestly I don't care.  What did I do? I watched porn and masturbated. YUP I DID! Would you like to know what kind of porn I watched? NO? Too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway.

So I looked through the porn I have at home, but only found one I wanted to watch. I think I need new porn. Any ideas of what to get?

If i don't want what I have downloaded i usually go to hub hunter or the usual spots youporn, & pornhub. Theres another one, but I forgot what it's called.

First I watched was some softcore first time lesbian 3some.You know like when you hang out with your friends and experiment. Yeah it was like that. It was way to lovey and virginal. i watched the whole thing and thought it was a little unfair that the blonde chick got most of the attention. It was a little boring for my taste, but it was good enough to get me started. I wont watch that shit again though.

 I don't know the name of the porn because I downloaded it a while back. It's a 3some 2 guys and a chick in a yellow outfit including bright ass gloves. Why do I mention the gloves? She never took them off and they were distracting. I think both guys in the video are gay, maybe one is bi. The bi guy had 2doods tattooed on his arm, WTH?  The other guy well he would only do anal. No vag for that guy, so it would be safe to say he's gay. No worries, it was worth watching.

Eva Angelina

 Last I watched my favorite girl Eva Angelina. I'll watch anything of hers. This video I found online and it was okay. Mainly 3 women having their way with Eva. Though I love Eva, this is not one of the good ones. One of the chicks in the video was awful, I swear she was trying way too hard and she couldn't even do her part right. Whatever, it was still fun to watch Eva though, and it was enough to end my night.
*YES I'm judging porn*










So what have I learned from all this? I feel better now. I should not deprive myself of sex or masturbation. I love porn. Oh wait I already knew that one. Masturbation helps me sleep, gives me energy for the day and perks up my mood.

Have a nice day! xoxo

Isn't she damn sexy?

Lent: Day 12 Why I gave up Cursing & Sex

photo from www.skateandannoy.com

 Why did I gave up cursing & sex? Well it was a way to help cleanse my spirit, my emotions, and my heart. I am angry too much and curse too much, sometimes. I use cursing and sex like I use soda, as a release. I guess they are not that bad because I could be an alcoholic, or drug addict. I have another addiction, but that is another blog topic on it's own. I knew I may slip up a few times with these two but I wasn't expecting to get it perfect.

 I don't know how I got started cursing again. I didn't curse at all when the kids were little. It must have been the people I was friends with after the kids father and I split. Darn bad influences. I know I drop the F-bomb a lot and sh!t too. Now, I am the bad influence with my kids. My son is starting to curse at the TV when he plays games. Then when I tell him to watch his mouth; he says I freak out about the stupid words. GREAT! So maybe I can become a better influence and show my kids there are other colorful words to use. I just need to find some.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/froodmat/1213122428/

SEX! I'm such a man when it comes to sex. They say men have sex on the brain every 15 seconds. Hhmmm I think they were talking about me too. I love porn, sex, and masturbation, but I guess that's a no no for ladies. Yeah well I never said I was a lady. I used to masturbate on a regular basis. It helps me sleep, gets rid of my cramps and headaches. I have always been open about sex and relationships. I'm not afraid to discuss anything sexual, even if it's a topic I don't like. I won't go into detail here, maybe a mini blog series about my opinions and/or stories on sex in the near future? Yeah I can go on & on.
 I gave up sex because at the moment I really don't need it. I'm not in a serious relationship, so why would I have sex. I also gave up porn and masturbation. I can honestly say it was easier than I thought, but there have been a few times I couldn't shake the thought. I did slip up the first week of Lent, but I was also having some killer cramps. Oh well. I have been using exercising as an alternative. If I think about sex or get the urge, I exercise. It's working so far, though I think sexercise is much better. I do miss sex and porn. I know it's good for you- lose weight- better sleep & skin. It used to be that sex was just that sex, and fun. Now I need more than just sex. I need intimacy, but most people don't know what that is. Someday I will find someone worth being intimate with, until then I'll exercise. Damn that sounds boring. My life is going to suck.

Lent: Day 2 'Fat Tuesday'

I had a headache yesterday, so I didn't blog the way I wanted. Boo to the headache! I went to bed early.


This year I started on Monday so I'm not supposed to indulge today but, I did, I had some frozen supreme pizza and didn't remove the pepperoni. I think I'll be alright though. I had the worst headache all day yesterday. I know it's the caffeine withdrawal, and it usually lasts a few days. I also started my menstrual cycle today. Headaches and cramps all day today! Talk about pushing my limits. I almost gave in and bought a Coke Classic. I drank tea instead and took some ibuprofen. It only dulled the pain. Caffeine has always been my monthly pain reliever. Everyone keeps telling me to drink coffee, but it gives me the jitters. Maybe if I have just one cup in the morning, it will give me enough pep to get the day going. I had my fruit for breakfast and lunch, a banana & a bagel for snacks. The pizza was my dinner.
  I weighed myself yesterday which would be the perfect day since I started my cycle. I am 160 lbs. A few weeks ago I was at my highest of 165 lbs... My goal weight was 134, but if I can get to 140 I will be happy. Once my menstrual cycle is done I will weigh myself again and take body measurements. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and we are supposed to fast. Since I am on my cycle I will eat the same as I did today and Monday. I'll have fruit for breakfast and lunch and a regular meal for dinner. If I don't eat during my cycle I will get lightheaded and faint. Wouldn't that be fun?

I was on and off facebook book for about an hour and 20 minutes. I have been keeping track of how long i am on instead of completely removing it. I thought it was funny how on the week I want to be on Facebook less, people want to message me more and see how I am. I only cursed 3 times today again. I guess 3 is my lucky number with cursing. No sex and no dining out.


So far so good.

My breakfast and lunch. I add cottage cheese at lunch & it's pretty filling too.