It's 2 am

   I can't sleep again. So I finished my revised Bucket List. You can find it above my posts. I figured that would be the best place to put it. An easy way to find it whenever I or someone else wants to check up on it.
 I posted my bucket list on Facebook, Myspace, and Tumblr as well. I am hoping it will help someone else start or add to their bucket list. I found some of my ideas on Tumblr. there are some great visual bucket lists on Tumblr and it helped me decide if those were things I would really want to do. I removed some stuff and added a ton more. I know a Bucket List is never truly complete. There is always something more to add.
 I went to Target today to get a few things. One was a journal, I found one I liked and was holding it while I looked at what else there was. I saw something I thought a special friend would like. without thinking I set the journal I wanted down and picked up the other item. I looked it over and thought it would be a great gift. I put the item for my friend in the basket and totally forgot about the journal I wanted. So in the morning I will go back and get my journal. I'm such a dork.
 I just noticed that while I type I don't always hit the I at the right time and it doesn't get capitalized. Poor I is neglected by me.

1.25.12

I haven't been blogging and I apologize. I think I said it the last time too. Oh well. So on with my day.

I've been looking for work, and I found a few classes i would like to take to help me better my chances at finding the job I want. Now it's time to make a plan, right? As soon as I get out of bed. Let me tell you depression is a bitch and when she gets a hold of you, you really have to fight to get away. My moods are erratic to say the least. I have bouts of uncontrollable crying (really annoying). Then out of nowhere I feel great, maybe I'm bipolar... I really hope not. Many years ago when i did go to therapy (YES I WENT) I was told I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It's similar to Bipolar but not really. I honestly thought I had it under control, started thinking that maybe my therapist didn't know what she was talking about. Then my erratic behavior would creep up on me again. I don't think before I speak or do anything. I just do it or say it. I have boundary issues (I don't have any boundaries and thats the problem). I am a risk taker and i have a horrible anxiety issue. The best way to describe it is like the angel and devil on your shoulder. They take turns doing what they want and I'm stuck in the middle.

I know that this is all random and off but it's how I feel right now.


Kids are home from school. I'll have to finish this later.