An Interesting Insight to my Mindful Happiness

I like this quote.  It's something my old self would say with a passive aggressive attitude.  I guess I can say I still have a 4 foot wall up that I can peek over to see whose coming my way.   I can also say I have built a nice little gate that never locks.  It easily swings open to those who want to visit.  They can come and go as they please.  No one is locked out or in.  It doesn't matter if you want to stay or not.  I welcome short term visitors.  Actually I prefer it these days.  There was a time I would have wanted, no, needed people to stay, hopefully forever.  Not anymore.  My journey of Mindful Happiness has freed me from possession, obsession, jealousy, and attachment.  It also has me lost for words, freed from negative emotions, and loss of remembering dreams.  I am in a place of peace and contentment.  With this peace has come silence.  I no longer have anything to say.  I never thought of my words being important in the past, yet I always had something to say.  Hoping someone would hear me,  notice me.  Not anymore, I like being invisible now.  I'm keeping the weight I lost off, because I am no longer emotionally eating.  I enjoy alone time more than having company.  It seems this short wall I have up may be blocking some emotions/feelings I think I should have: Desire, motivation, passion, and love.  My love for things has dwindled to semi-likes and the love for people is gone.  Of course I love my kids and I love myself.  My desire to be with someone is no where to be seen.  I look at and talk with  people and see nothing appealing about them.   I have been forcing myself to get out there and socialize.  I am failing horribly, or am I...  I enjoy talking to strangers or going on dates, but after an hour, I cant wait to get away.  I'm okay with meeting up with friends, but not for too long.  I just want to quietly enjoy the world behind a book or drink, alone.  I have no interest in doing creative things of any kind.  Exercising has become dull.  Even blogging has lost its luster.  In a way, I have become numb; I just don't care anymore.  I need simplicity and nothing more.

Who knew mindful happiness would do this to me..   Oh well, I'm happy and don't want to change it.

Think Happy, Be Happy :)