Sunday Morning Post.

Today is laundry day, clean the kitchen day and why do I have to be in pain day.

YAY!!! Okay not really, I had such a hard time sleeping last night. My back didn't want me to be comfortable. I tossed and turned most of the night. Then Samantha decided she wanted to sleep in my bed too. Which meant I would get a small portion of my Queen sized bed and she would have the rest. That girl sleeps in weird poses. Plus she kicks and punches in her sleep.

I'm tired, but want to get shit done today. So please please back, let me get it done. The sad part is that it's a beautiful day and I could be at the park, but no, I'm home cleaning house. Oh well. I'll blog later.




Have a great day kids!

xoxo,

Lisa

No expectations, little hope, and much doubt

I try hard to not expect anything from anyone. People lie, keep secrets, pretend, and flip flop. People change minds, feelings, and hearts faster than ever these days. With no expectations of others brings hopes and doubts in my mind. I hope to find someone someday who can except me as is. It takes a strong person to accept and want damaged goods. I hope that i have the friends i think i have. But... i have doubt.  It sits quietly waiting for the right moment to creep in and give me reasons to question others sincerity.  Why is it so hard for me to believe there are people that care, that i can count on and trust? Why do i fear friendship or any type of relationship? This is something new for me. I don't like this new fear i have within me. I expect nothing, doubt many things, and my hope is diminishing. I keep telling myself to try one more time, but whats the point. I am ready to give up, give in and let go.

Frustrated to say the least.

I have been trying to revamp my blog for the past 2 hours. I have changed the template and colors multiple times. I just can't find a color scheme i like. This shouldn't be so damn hard. I think I may need some outside help with this because I am so stuck.  Nothing seems to reflect me at this time in my life. Maybe that's because i feel I am at a crossroads and havent decided which path to take yet.

I need a hot air balloon to take me up above all that is in my life so I can get an idea as where to go. Then maybe once I know my path I can find a theme that fits me. hahahaha yeah right.

Back to the frustration of making my blog pretty.  Maybe i should go back to basics.

~Lisa

What's the Plan Stan?

Stan has no idea. Why? Well because I don't know anyone named Stan. At least I don't think I do but, if there is a Stan that knows the plan, he better share.

I am trying to write out a plan for my blogging. First in the plan is to write everyday. Even if it's something lame. I was trying out some writing exercises from a few sites. Maybe I will use those as fillers when I have a hard time. I am a writer who likes to interact with others, so I will have to think of some blogs that can include all of you. I think I will have to read through all my old blogs and see what  is unfinished. I can continue with old blogs and complete blogging projects I forgot about. That sounds like a start, right?

I am reevaluating my bucket list at the moment. I hope to have some new and exciting things to add. One will be me challenging myself to face some of my fears. We'll see how that goes.  Minus Clowns, I will never attempt to deal with Clowns. They scare me to death and with halloween here, I have to see them a lot.

So, I am looking for some blogging and bucket list ideas. It would be awesome if you can help me out.


Some other plans in the works-

1. I will be doing something like Lent for the Holidays. The rules are the same, but the dates are Day after Thanksgiving to Christmas Day (for you if you want to participate) or New Years Day (this one is for me).
- No beef, pork, soda/ coffee (which ever is your addiction), no fast food, no junk food.
We all over indulge durring the Holidays so I thought this would be a good idea to try. I don't celebrate Christmas Day, so I don't have to worry about over eating, though I will not be able to have my favorite spiral ham. I guess I can have it for New Years Day dinner.

2. Planning on going back to school. Cross your fingers it all works out. I will hopefully know something by the end of next week.

3. I am late for my Fall Cleaning, so I will be doing that for the next 2 weeks.  I will sell, barter, or give away anything that I no longer NEED on Craigslist. Hopefully that goes well. I sold my air conditioner, and gave away my table on there, so I think I will be okay.

I think this is it for now. I'm going to go watch some movies and have adult conversation with a good friend of mine. After a day of horrid menstrual cramps and headache, I need some relaxing.

A quickie.

Sorry my loves. I know I haven't been blogging and I'm sure no one wants to read my rambles. I've been having some emotional roller coaster shit going on. So please bare with me.

First off Autumn is my favorite season and yet I have seasonal depression so I have a hard time at the end of Summer & the beginning of Autumn. I slept 2 weeks of September away. Wishing the world would just disappear, but it didn't. The world is still here and so am I. It's a vicious cycle I go through every year. Maybe I will blog about it one day.

So here I am again, feeling ready to blog. Ready to rant, rave, and scare you. Okay I'm not really that scary.  I do try though. As I read online news, social networking posts, and just living life; I see plenty of things I should be ranting about these days. I don't because I am tired of reading so many damn complaints. Everyone is whining about something, shoving their mean spirited thoughts and ideas down others virtual throats. We have become an entitlement society like a spoiled rotten, undisciplined 5 year old.  It's annoying. Sadly I am complaining about the complainers. wwaaahhhhh.  I'll get over it.

I will attempt to blog daily. I will find a reason to blog, and if I need to vent and complain, I promise to find something nice to say as well. I guess one of my topics will be about bad exs, because thats what people want to read about. I'll think up some interesting topics, I'm sure I have some in my journals.

This blog makes no sense but we'll all get over it. I said it was a quickie.


So help me out and give me some blog topics you want to read about.

Here's something pretty to look at. :)