In The Absence of Sex

Two years ago I attempted to explore a variety of dating and sexual encounters. It fizzled out quickly.  I was bored or unimpressed with the people involved.  I thought maybe it was me at first.  Then I realized I just didn't like the experience as much as I thought I would.  After years of so-so situation-ships and two failed long term relationships (One was extremely toxic), I felt that I needed to remove myself from any "adult" activities. 

During these last two years I did re-attempt some form of dating but failed.  The men I met only wanted sex or thought sex was a way to get to know someone.  Uhm, no sir, that is not how you get to know me.   I can't believe how many guys on social media go straight to dick pics after a few minutes of chatting.  SLOW DOWN DUDE!!  Men at bars or at other public places were so quick to want to hook up.  The few I gave my number to would text me way too much and get upset if I didn't respond right away.  Clingy much??  There were a few who were nice guys, but they were not a good fit for me.  The bad relationships strike again, seeing red flags early on when talking to men.  Yes, I am set in my ways and I may have too many deal breakers.  I keep telling myself to wait until I move next year.  I'll have better luck in a new place.  Will I really?  What are the chances?  I feel defeated here in this drug infected town.  The thought of "All the good ones are taken" comes to mind.  I know that's not true.  I think I'm just a pain in the ass and too lazy to try.

Interesting fact: I no longer have interest in sex.  I quit watching porn and boxed up my adult toys.  Yup, I am 100% sex free!!  Though I am proud of this, I do wonder if it has anything to do with my depression.  I can't remember the last time I had any "relief".  The only time I get the urge is at the end of my monthly cycle.  I take a nice long bath and I'm good.  Sex is good for you and helps you stay healthy.  Sometimes I wonder if my lack of desire is part of my health issues.  How does one go about finding out of that is the case?  I can't talk to my doctor about it.  So who do I go to?  Oh poop!! I forgot to schedule my pap and mammogram appointment.  Oopsy!!

WTF, My Body is Angry

My health has been going down hill lately.

I'm exhausted, my skin is breaking out and itching like crazy, and I'm in a crappy mood for no reason.  I don't know what caused this so I plan on detoxing for a few days.   At first I thought I was having an allergic reaction.  I changed soaps, laundry detergent, and lotions.  My skin is still blotchy and itchy.  My face and chest is seriously breaking out, I'm guessing my face broke out from the hair products I'm using now.  I'm tired of feeling itchy all day.  Scratching my skin off.  This has been going on for a few weeks now.  I think it's time to go to the doctor and get an allergy test and also see a dermatologist for what I think may be hives.  A coworker thinks its just stress but I disagree.  I don't feel stressed.  I'm working less and sleeping more. So where is the stress?  I am eating way too much crap though. So maybe, just maybe I'm eating something that is causing all this.

My skin looks awful right now.  The photo collage below is from this morning.  Fresh out of the shower.  My face and chest are covered in acne, some are cystic acne which I have not dealt with in a few years. My arms are blotchy, dry and extremely itchy.  I've been using Lubriderm Fragrance Free lotion, but it doesn't seem to be helping.  Time for a detox with lots of water, fresh fruits and veggies.

UGH... Acne and blotchy skin. 

I'm Tired Of The Foot Pain

I was recently diagnosed with Plantar Faciitis.  I don't know how to explain how I feel about it.  Frustrated? Confused? I just don't know.  I have walked everywhere most of my life.  I'm a pedestrian.  I'm on my feet all the time.  Always have been.  So why now? After I join the gym and try to be 100% serious about my health do I get foot problems?  My left foot has more going on than Plantar Faciitis, I have pain I can't explain in other parts of my foot.  I've had X-rays and I'm about to have a MRI to see if there is anything else.  If not, I'm screwed.  Physical therapy is the next step, I'm waiting for their call.   This issue is causing problems at work. I am half the speed I used to be, so my work is falling behind.  My Supervisor and I discussed the situation and she is doing her best to help me.  I want to hike, jog, and be able to participate in life without being in pain.  I have a feeling this is going to be something I will have to deal with and there will be no fixing it.

Spring 2016

It's been six months since I last posted.  I am still on this journey of mindful happiness.  It has become a part of my life.  For a short time this past winter I lost sight of it. Work had become stressful and it made me so exhausted that all I would do after work was sleep.  I would sleep through my days off.  It wasn't the work itself, but the negativity I was surrounded with.  Once I started doing more solo work in the store I felt much better.  I also stopped showing up early, leaving later, and coming in on my off days to check out how things were going.  I rarely shop on my off days now.  Then, I hurt my left foot. I have no idea what I did.  Some days it hurts so bad I can hardly walk, but I have to.   The Doctor says The X-Ray shows I have plantar Fasciitis and now I'm waiting to see what else they find with an MRI.  I'm trying to stay positive and hope all I need is some physical therapy.  What sucks is I paid for a gym membership and have only been a few times because of my injury.  I know, lame excuse.

The doctor also wants me to change my eating habits.  We discussed the Low carb High Fat lifestyle and I am working my way there.  At the moment I have a lot of high carb foods in my home and I am slowly eating them while trying to add more high fat and veggies.  I think by next paycheck i will have eaten majority of my carbs and will be on a full LCHF diet.  I'm not going to force my kids to do a complete change, but their dinners will fit with my new eating plan.


I will discuss my new journey into this healthier lifestyle.  I truly hope I have the will power and faith to stick with it.


Wish me luck...

Stress Less is the Plan

Last night I had such difficulty sleeping.  Chest pressure, intestinal pain, and vomiting.  I was more than worried about my health today.  I went to the ER.  I was admitted and stayed for a few hours.  EKG, X-Rays, blood tests, and monitors the whole time I was there.  While I lay there waiting and hoping the results were good. I heard the doctor tell the lady next to me she would have to stay for a while because they thought she may have had a heart attack.  Of course I start to stress more than I already am.  Fortunately for me, they found nothing, but I was told at my age and with the medication I am on, I am at risk for blood clots and they wanted to do a CT scan.  Cancer runs in my family and I have awful luck.  CT scans cause cancer, I think the doctor said 1 in 1000 get cancer from a CT scan.  So I declined.  I would rather drop dead from a stroke or heart attack than get cancer and die a slow horrible death.  I was officially diagnosed with an ulcer and GERD,  due to stress.  They were not sure where the chest pain and pressure was from, nor the weird tingling sensation I was getting in my arms.  Oh well.  As I sit here, I feel like death.  The doctor suggested taking today and tomorrow off work, but I declined for tomorrow.  I had already missed work due to being in the ER for today.  So, now I'm off to bed in hopes of sleeping and forcing myself to get up at 3:30 am.  YAY!

Good night and sleep well world.

Happy Monday!

Happy Monday!

Today went pretty fast except for just after lunch when things got a little busy with work.  I noticed something pretty cool as the day went on; I had purchased a soda at lunch and though I love soda I kept subconsciously choosing the water when I reached for a drink.  That is a big deal as I have always chosen soda over everything.  So I'm darn proud of myself for that little milestone. Yay me!!

What a Waste of a Good Day

Today I had an appointment with an oral surgeon about my jaw and a tooth that may need to be extracted. It was an all day venture because it was in Alameda and I had never been there before. I personally feel it was a complete waste of my time and money. I lost money and time to be told nothing about my jaw (main reason I was there) and that "If you have a toothbrush and floss, you don't need dental insurance." What??? Crazy talk, right? Well, at least I think so.

Worst part of the day. I did not have enough water today. No where near a gallon and I can feel the difference. I also ate McDonald's, Samantha and I had the 20 piece nugget meals. I couldn't eat all of mine. I am surprised as I love their fries. I had a few sips of my soda and tossed it, ate half my medium fries and 6 of my 10 nuggets. I later fed my leftovers to some seagulls. Besides the fast food, I have not eaten anything else. I did buy some water while I was out and had plenty of water at home. Just not enough. My only exercise for today was walking a little bit of yoga. Once I am done with this post I will meditate before I go to bed. Space tomorrow I will be better as I will be buying two gallons of water for work.

Today I started something new called personal push goals. I got the idea from a Facebook friend named Diva Val. I have chosen four goals for February; working out for 30 minutes, drink one gallon of water, meditate 15 minutes and, blog daily. I think it will be a great way to keep up on small goals I want to accomplish. Also, I feel it will be a way for me to have personal accountability of my actions.

I said I was going to share some links with you today. I am not going to explain each one as I am still looking through them and deciding what I will use from each.

30dayfitnesschallenges.

Neilarey.com/

For some reason when I try to add links on my tablet, they get messed up. Grrr

Well I'm off to bed. Good night

Hello February 2015

Hello hello. My first day of the water challenge went well. Unfortunately I lost cost after 60oz. I do believe I made it to a gallon. I feel like it. My body is weighed down by it and I peed a lot today. I have noticed when I drink large amounts of water I lose interest in food. I only had two plain ham sandwiches today and that's it. I had no desire to make myself anything to eat nor was I really hungry. I only ate the second sandwich because I was making one for my kids and I needed to eat.

I weigh 165.  I still need to measure myself. I did take photos of myself but will not share those until the end of the month. I can't even explain the horror, embarrassment, and amount of tears that happened during and after the pictures were taken. My eyes are closed in them because I could not bare to look at myself. I am disgusted and horrified that I allowed others to see me in less than jeans and a oversized T-shirt. I feel like shit. The disgust and embarrassment is more of a motivation than my health right now.

I have some links I want to share with you next time.  I hope you will like them.

Saturday Night Boredom

It's Saturday night, woohoo! Congrats on making it through the first month of 2015.

I'm sitting on my little old love seat watching Bones and Numb3rs. I should be in San Francisco having a great time with the Walker Stalker Convention, but no. Oh well, life goes on.  I'm feeling better today. My cough isn't choking me. I finally have some energy but I'm sitting my butt. I think it's safe to restart my fitness challenge tomorrow. Perfect for the beginning of the month. I will be doing a water challenge with my fitness challenge. This water challenge is for me to drink 1gallon of water a day. I need to drink approximately 80 ounces a day at the moment and I am at about 60 ounces. So it seems I need to step up my game on water drinking. Dropping soda from my daily habit will help for sure.

Though my water challenge is supposed to be only a month, I'm hoping to keep it up. The same with soda removal. My goal is to reduce or remove processed foods (mostly sugar). Junk food and bread are my best friend. I am an emotional eater. Stressed, bored, or depressed, food is how I cope. This is a habit I hope to break.

Well I'm tired and its my bed time. Good night.

Well That Didn't Get Far.

I'm sick. So sick that I'm coughing till I can't breathe. Throat itching and feels like it burning. I dry heave and gag a lot, not to mention I just realized how old i am getting when I just about peed myself coughing. Say what??? Yup, I've hit that darn age where pee will become an issue; no matter how much I keep up on my kegel exercises. Gonna have to speak to the doctor about that.

Since I am sick and have no desire to function, I am postponing my fitness challenge. This cough I have is a workout; it exhausts me. During this time I will do research and share some ideas with you. Until then I will rest and just babble on about nothing. I'm good at that.

I'm off to sleep... Hopefully

I Think A Lot of Thoughts

There has been a lot of ruckus going on in my little brain.  Maybe because the work I do gives me opportunities to think random thoughts.

Thought #1-- I really need to do something about my cluttered apartment.  As I have been helping my friend JW and family prepare their homes for the move this past weekend. It made me realize I have way too much crap.  Okay, I already knew I had too much crap, but helping JW made me truly see it.  So, the question that popped into my head was: What would I do with all this stuff if I moved? The answer is: I have no idea. To me that is a sign of trouble.  I better get on it.

Thought #2-- I need to lose some weight and start eating better. AGAIN.. This new job has made me fat. Okay, it's not the job, it's my poor choices now that I work at a job where I sit on my butt all day.  I did a little research and I think I found a way to get some exercise in at work and found some great ideas for lunches.  I am thinking about going for the Ketogenic "diet"/ the Low carb high fat (LCHF) lifestyle.  It's just super hard because I am a Carb lover and have a sweet tooth.  I believe I can do it. I just keep using the excuse that carbs are easier to store in my "snack drawer" at work.  Lame right?  Also in my research I found this cute way to workout at work called  Deskercise, I need to pick out which ones I like and can do then make a little chart to print out and post in my cube.

Thought #3-- Blogging, it's a constant thought. I see or think of something and I think, "oh I should blog about that".  I try to write when I can.  I wish to write more content and more often.

Thought #4-- I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. I have been trying to write it all out so I can blog them.



Thought #5 --

Boredom Strikes

Doing some writing while watching Labyrinth

I'm sitting on the floor, watching Labyrinth, while eating my half burnt Digiorno supreme pizza. Okay I'm eating half and that's a whopping 700 calories... Yikes!  I think I may give up frozen pizza.
And maybe a lot of other foods I don't really need. I started using myfitnesspal and Endomodo this week.  I was using them before but my old phone wasn't able to keep up with the updates.  I may switch to a different fitness app to link to myfitnesspal. Anyway, back to the pizza calories.  I now need to work off 400 calories this evening.  I know I will have to start planning my meals and make a fitness plan to keep me on track.  Though I have these two apps to help me along, I also decided to use a fitness journal to keep up on my emotions and other habits.  I'll have to participate in some fitness challenges or make up some of my own.  

Speaking of challenges, I found some nice 30 day challenges I want to try, also I think I will make my own challenges to keep things interesting.  I want to combine photo, writing and music challenges together to keep me from getting bored.  I don't understand why I become bored so easily.  There is plenty to do and yet, I am bored.  

I need to get my ass in gear... work out, find a job, and get my shit together. I've been so unmotivated, lazy, and bored. 

Lesson Learned, I Hope

Last week I decided that I would detox for a few days because I was feeling sluggish and "off".  Well I started yesterday with my usual senna tea and cabbage soup.  Also yesterday I went over board on the tea and now today I feel sick.  The box says two cups the first day and one for the next few days or more. Well I went all out and put two tea bags in my carafe and drank it all by noon. So of course I make another carafe with two bags and finish it before bed. Well let me tell you that the tea was seriously working by 5:00.  I was in the bathroom every 15 minutes and I kept drinking the tea.  This morning I only made on carafe with two tea bags and that's it.  My GI Tract feels empty and dry.  I don't think that is a good sign.  I am still taking trips to the toilet every 30 minutes or so.  I think I learned my lesson. I feel like crap (pun intended).  I did have tacos for dinner tonight, we'll see how my body likes that.  I think a nice bubble bath and an early bed time is in order tonight.

I usually do this detox about once a month except I don't drink two carafes of strong tea in one day.  I clearly wasn't thinking when I started yesterday. All I was thinking about was I have my daughters high school graduation coming up, a wedding where I have to be ladylike and fancy, and well it's summer.  I promised myself I would have healthier eating habits and lifestyle by summer.  I feel like I failed, though I am eating better and trying to learn new ways to better myself inside and out.  I think I am doing better but feel like crap because I am not where I thought I would be at this time.  Set backs suck and I started procrastinating, then I get hurt. Excuses, excuses is what I am saying to myself right now.  I AM a procrastinator and I can get lazy.  I've said it before, sometimes I need someone to crack the whip and say "get your ass in gear" before I really get going.  It's funny how I am willing to bust ass for others, but when it comes to doing things for myself, I have no motivation and I drag ass on it.  LAME! I am fully aware of this problem I have. I am trying to figure out what I need to do to keep myself motivated for myself.  Does that make sense to you?  I guess I'm just stuck in a rut.  No, that's just another excuse.  ggrrrr I need to stop that.

So this is me getting my ass in gear and doing what I said I would do. I'm logging off and taking my ass upstairs to bathe in bubbles, then go to bed.  Maybe some relaxing yoga before bed... oohh and some self love.  uhh self love, wheres a man when you need one?

Good Night!

P.S. One cup of tea Lisa.... ONE CUP!

Lent Update: Illness, Pain, and My Lady Parts Again.

Yay!

I haven't posted in a week.  Oh well, shit happens. Monday March 31st I went in for an ultrasound on my lady parts.  Drinking 32 ounces of water and holding it is not cool. All ladies know it's torture.  Anywho, I go in and the tech goops me up and ask questions while she starts looking around from above (wand on my abdomen).  We talk about my history of Ovarian Cysts and how often I get them and test for them.  Then once her questions stop, she gets quiet, too quiet.  I start getting nervous and just stare at the ceiling.  I'm laying there waiting for her to say "Oh no, that's not good" or something like that.  She doesn't say much after the questions.  Only when she asks me to go take a piss and undress from the waist down for the internal view. Yes guys, internal... I hop back up on the table on this god awful pillow that is hurting my back and ass.  UGH, who designs this shit?  The tech makes sure I'm "propped up" correctly and then says "relax." All I could think was; Uhm, you're about to shove a wand the size of a large vibrator in my vagina and I don't even know your first name.  I guess I can't complain too much, the wand was smaller this time around.  I wonder what that tool is actually called.  The tech takes a quick peek at my vagina and shoves the wand right up into my ovaries. OUCH! Then she's twisting and turning this damn thing like it doesn't hurt.  All she can say is "Sorry if that's uncomfortable."  Uh yeah, you're shoving this wand all sideways in my vagina, shit, I don't even fuck like that.  I think many medical techs are seriously sadistic.  I should have asked for a copy of my pics of my inner lady parts to share with you guys.  Maybe I can get one later.

I went to Schooners for lunch with JW after that because I really needed a beer.  Who doesn't need a beer after being violated? I had a club sandwich, and it was delicious.  I inhaled that fucker.  Good thing JW was off work for his own reasons, it was pouring when I was done with my appointment and he gave me a ride home after lunch.  Have I said lately how grateful I am for my friends?

I called in on Tuesday to find out my results and everything came back great.  EVERYTHING, so what do I do now?  What does that mean when the symptoms are still here?  Now to make another appointment and maybe more tests.  Cross your fingers, toes, legs, arms, eyes, balls, and ovaries that everything goes well.

Samantha had multiple appointments on Wednesday.  Yeah we had a busy week in the medical world.  We were at Samantha's appointment forever.  Her Doc, asked questions and gave us some good advise for Samantha's eating habits.  Everything is looking good, but we are still unable to find out what is causing her nausea, headaches, and chronic fatigue.  More blood work was done for Diabetes and a recheck of her CBC.  She had one last immunization, yay!  We were also given a referral for Samantha to get an EEG and ECG (EKG).  Samantha had heart problem in utero and soon after birth.  Every few years we go in for tests to make sure there are no problems. Even I have to get regular heart check ups now due to the medication I was on during my pregnancy.  Hopefully these tests will give us a better understanding to what is happening to my mini me.  Maybe I can get a copy of these tests and I care share them with you too.  After the appointment we went to IHOP and had bacon burgers.  Yeah, because we need more health problems, right?

Mmmm Bacon burger

Friday, I went to my very first hockey game.  I went to see Stockton Thunder vs. Utah Grizzlies.  It was great, I loved it and would sooo go again.  It wasn't as cold as my friends on Facebook said it would be, but maybe it was just this arena.  It was Military appreciation weekend; It was nice to see military families out enjoying the game.  Before the game we stopped at a local bar called Valley Brewing Company to have a beer and appetizers.  I'm not a fan of eating stadium food from anywhere. I'm afraid i'll die from what might be in the food.

Photo courtesy of JW

The weekend was nice and relaxing.  Had some wine and grilled cheese.  Oh the grilled cheese was delicious.  Habanero Gouda and Jalapeno Jack with onions, tomato, and avocado.  Fuck Yes! and Thank You!

Second bottle for the night. That grilled cheese was delish. 

Watched some TV, read some Floating Dragon by Peter Straub.  The book was hard to get into and has some weird parts, but it's a good read.  I did some much needed grocery shopping and bought almost NO junk food.  I got the kids a 12 pack of soda and I bought me some tapioca pudding & jalapeno cheetos.  YUM!  BBQ'd on Sunday with great company.  Came home to sick kids though, not cool.  I ended up picking them both up from school early today.

Lent Days 22-24: I Talk About My Lady Parts

So I made a mistake and no one said anything. My last post was actually day 21. Oh well.

Tuesday was an "Eh whatever" kind of day. Actually I don't remember much of the day really.  What the hell did I do on Tuesday??? UGH, this is why I should blog daily.

Okay so after reading text messages from Tuesday:  I masturbated and I hope I liked it.  I had bacon and eggs for lunch and I also hung out with JW after work.  My day sounds pretty productive.  I mean there was self love, bacon, and an awesome friend involved in my day.  Sounds like a perfect day to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Now Wednesday was an adventure.  I had my "lady parts" appointment.  Yeah, I had to go and have a pap smear (that sounds so gross).  I have been having ovarian pain for a little over a month and I have a history of ovarian cysts.  I thought that maybe it was time to requests some testing done to see how those little buggers were doing.  Now I figured since I was there I would get the whole shebang done: pap, STI testing (they are no longer called STDs), blood work for STIs and Hormones, and schedule a sonogram for my ovaries.

I don't know any female who enjoys this kind of appointment.  Even though I take care of myself (the best I can), and get tested regularly, I am always super freaking nervous going into these appointments. I am always afraid they will find something wrong with me.

I left early to go to my appointment because I had never been to the Women's Clinic before.  I didn't even know there was one. I usually go to Planned Parenthood.  I ended up there an hour early and walking around like a lost puppy trying to find the darn office in the building.  Finally i asked someone and guess what?  It was the first door as I walked in the building.. Gah! I walked past it twice, maybe they should put up a sign.  FINALLY I walk in and they lady at registration had a bit of a 'tude. I explained I had never been there before and she became a bit nicer, not much though.  I get called in to be weighed and check my blood pressure. I really dislike doctors scales because I always weigh more there than what my home scale says.

BP: 106/57    Temp: 97.6      Weight: 152 lbs 4.8 oz

My BP is way off than it normally is which scares me, but they said nothing.  Whatever...   I get into the room and the nurse tells me to undress from the waist down and the Doc will be in shortly.  The Doc walked in just as I sat down on the table.  Wow that was fast, most of the time I sit there for 5 to 10 minutes.  It scared me just a little bit.  He was a bit stiff and straight to the point.  He made sure to put in my referral for the sonogram as soon as he sat down at the computer and made sure to add as much medical history as possible. I liked the fact that he was thorough and asked a lot of questions, but I didn't like that he was very impersonal.  He was just there to do his job.  Yes I know he's a gyno and looks at lady parts all day. I don't care, I expect a doctor to make an effort and show some emotion.  I think he has been in the business too long.  When he sat down to do the pap he asked me to pretty much hang my ass off the table.  I'm too old for that, it kills my back.  He inserts the speculum (the clear plastic thing in the pic below) and then says "where's your cervix?"... Uh what?  So yeah, he had to remove the speculum dig into my vag and find my cervix before continuing. Lets just say it hurt, okay.  I may have a tilted uterus which makes my cervix dip downward towards my spine, but it's not fucking lost..

Do I get charged for all the crap they don't use? 

The job was done and I waited for my paperwork to go to lab and Diagnostics to make an appointment for the sonogram.  I got the same guy Samantha did in the lab, he was nice and made small talk.  The diagnostics lab had no available appointments, but were able to get me one at an office off Deer Valley this coming Monday.  Let's hope it's nothing too serious.

Two hours later and still bleeding. :(

~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday was a bit of a lazy day. I had no motivation what so ever.  I even took a nap in the morning.  I'm disappointed in myself.  I went out for coffee and a chat with a friend before coming home to make dinner early.  The kids decided Subway was going to be dinner and we could have what I made for tomorrow.  WHAT??  I'm not paying for Subway,  so Samantha paid for her and David, and I ate what I made because I didn't want Subway.  Darn kids and their fast food.

Lent 19 & 20 of March: Food & Open House.

March 19, 2014

Okay, I'm supposed to be fasting.  Only fruit and veggies, right? Well I went for a walk/ hike with a friend and we went to Tailgaters afterward.  So, I had a yummy sandwich, onion rings and Arrogant Bastard again.  Yes Please and Thank You!  What?  oh I'm not supposed to have this because of Lent. YEAH SHUT UP!!!  I do what I want.

Mmmm Delicious!!!

Samantha had a doctors appointment at 6:45pm.  The doctor gave her new asthma medication, allergy meds and a long list for Lab in the morning.  Samantha may have depression and anxiety on top of food allergies.  The doctor has asked samantha to cut her milk intake in half and write in a journal every time she becomes ill or anxious for the next two weeks.  Samantha has another appointment on April 2nd, so we will learn then about the Lab results and if she can get the allergy testing done.

March 20, 2014

Samantha went in to Lab and had 6 vials of blood drawn. They were going to take 9 until the tech saw her walk in the room.  He decided to only take the 6, and good thing he did.  She became ill after the bloodwork.  They will be testing her for Celiac disease, lactose, thyroid and a few other things.

Tonight was open house for Dozier-Libbey Medical High School.  We wanted to see what is in store for samantha next year.  It was a long bus ride there and we didn't know how to get on campus at first.  Once we figured it out, I was super excited because there were lots of cows in the field next to the school.  Samantha kept telling me to calm down.  It was pretty funny.  We didn't stay long and only spoke to a few teachers.  We found out there is a Llama that hangs out with the cows, he is sort of the bodyguard for them.  On our way out, the sky looked awesome, this school has a beautiful view.

ooh pretty

Question: If you could spend one whole year doing anything you wanted, what would you do? 

Answer: I would travel. DUH!  I would love to visit Ireland, Italy, Japan and a variety of US cities.  I would pick 25 places to visit and stay for at least a week at each.  If I had the money of course. HA!

Lent March 17 & 18: Cabbage soup & Illness

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

I did nothing special today.  My kids don't like corned beef so I made cabbage soup instead.  love cabbage soup.  I use the recipe from cabbage-soup-diet.com, This site even has a nice diet plan. It works for me when I want to detox.  I won't eat the potatoes or meat until the last day though.

Samantha has not been feeling well and is home sleeping.  This kid keeps having health issues and I'm running out of options.  She'll be eating the cabbage soup and hoping to feel better. I seriously believe she has food allergies and had requested testing done, but it hasn't happened yet.


March 18, 2014

Happy Birthday to Shelby!
My oldest child is 19 today. YES 19, I can't believe that in two years she will be old enough to drink alcohol and go to bars. AAHHH!!  It is hard to believe and say that I have an adult child.  Ha ha adult child sounds funny to me.  I spoke to her on the phone and we talked about her homework.  She had to write a paper on Shakespeare.  Her father was ordering in and they were just going to hang out at home.  I forgot to ask her about graduation.  Poop!  Yep, she also graduates high school this year.  I'm scared and excited to fly to Baltimore.  I haven't seen Shelby since she moved with her father and I have never been to Baltimore or even Maryland. So this will be interesting.  I miss her.

I went to Tailgaters in Antioch for the first time today.  Had some Arrogant Bastard beer and chicken wings. MMMMM Beer and wings, yes please!  I learned they have Goldfish Derbies.  I think that is so cool; I'll have to go back to try it out sometime.  The bartender Rob is a cool dude.  If you go to Tailgaters in Brentwood or Antioch, sit at the bar and hopefully you'll meet Rob.


Question: In one word, What do you want most from your relationship?

Answer: Communication

Weekend Half Rant

It's Friday! YAY!  Just kidding.  I am doing what I do every weekend... NOTHING!  I live a boring life.

I am supposed to go to this breakfast with my walking buddies, but I am going to try to get out of it.  I do not want to go and I don't want to make a vision board.  Well not with them.  They are nice ladies, but too "Christian" for me to handle.  I wouldn't be able to make my vision board the way I want.  I can't talk about what I want.  I have to tone down my talks and behavior while I'm with them.  I may go anyway.  UGH.. I don't wanna.... whine, whine, whine.

Hailey's birthday is Sunday, she will be 13! YAY!  Samantha is going to her birthday party.  If you don't know who Hailey is, well we met her three years ago when her and Samantha became team mates at Delta Bowl.  Yep, the girls have been bowling in a league for three years together on Fridays.  I love Hailey as my own daughter.  Her father is kinda cute too.  When I signed her birthday card today I wrote "not your real mom" under my name.  It's a little joke between us.  At least she doesn't call me "The other mother"  because I'm not evil.  I could be though *evil laugh*.

Happy birthday, Loves you

While Samantha is out having birthday fun with her sister, I will clean house or something.  Samantha's friend rebecca wants to come over, but i am not in the mood for more kids and I am still waiting for a woman to come by and pick up the desk she wanted to buy.  I need to get this crap out of my living room.  It looks like a yard sale.  

I will for sure do some more research for next weeks Sex Talk.  I hope you guys and gals are enjoying those.  I have already pissed off a few people, lets see how many more feathers I can ruffle.   

Well I guess that's it for now.  I have to finish making dinner so I can go for my walk with the Christian girls.  Good night and wet dreams loves. XOXO

Fitness Goals and a mini update

Hello, how have you been?  I've had a busy weekend and Monday.

Sunday I went to Stoneman Park in Pittsburg to weigh in for the free 24 fit challenge I have been wanting to try.  I will get my results in an email sometime this week.  I'm pretty excited since I've become such a fat ass.  The only problem is I have hurt my right shoulder.  I have spoken to mr Doctor about it already and may need physical therapy.  So, my plan is to discuss options with my new fitness coach.  Hopefully we can find ways to help my shoulder.
I am still participating in the walking group.  We walk at LMC for now and we are looking for other walking options.   Some of you may have noticed I took the Friday 13 blog down.  After our group meeting this weekend I realized there was more to this group than I thought.  This isn't just about fitness or becoming healthier.  It's about empowering each other to become better people and to encourage each other in our difficult times.  I also learned I was not the only one discouraged by how things were going so far.  So we made group and personal goals.  Something to look forward to and keep us challenged.  No one likes boring workouts.
With my attempt to become healthier, I have made some goals to help me not only better myself physically, but mentally as well.  I have been anti-social, not focusing on my educational goals and I haven't really checked off enough Bucket List items either.  This year of self feels as if all I did was whine about how miserable I am.  THAT SHIT NEEDS TO STOP! I need to get my ass moving.
I would like to share some of my goals with you today.

Fitness Goals:

1. Complete Fitness Boot Camp (3 classes a week for 5 weeks)
2. work up to jogging on a regular basis
3. Jog Bay to Breakers 2014 
4. Reduce Caffeine/soda until I wipe it out of my eating habits.   (Pretty much finish off what I have in my home) 
5. Learn cleaner eating habits.  Reduce refined sugar and remove processed food as much as possible.          (as I type this I am having a quarter of a Pepperidge Farm cookie)

Walking Group Goals: 60 day fitness goal

1. As a group walk 1 mile under 15 minutes.  
2. No refined sugars after 7 pm for first 30 days/ after 6 pm second 30 days. 
3. Reduce inches and not worry about what the scale says (though we will weigh in)

I'll find out more about how to achieve my goals and maybe add more once the boot camp starts.  As for the walking group, we need a name, and looking for people to join.  

Like, OMG... It's been while... AGAIN.

The super moon behind the clouds.  

Yes, I've been away for too long.  I wanted to blog, but didn't have time or made some lame excuse on why I couldn't.  Mostly, we are down to  one computer and I have to fight with the kids to get on the darn thing.  I tried to add the Blogger app after I reset my phone for the third time, but it won't let me log in.  Stupid phone won't let me use my Just Another Lisa Perez account for some reason.  I need to figure it out, so I can blog on the bus to keep you all updated.  I have been writing journals though. 

School is about 8 weeks away from being done.  I plan on extending my classes another 5 weeks.  There are some classes that are not included in my program and I would like to take them.  I haven't started looking for work yet.  I have a 2 week break in mid July and plan to start the second week to hopefully have a few interviews during break.  Cross your fingers.  I'm not 100 percent sure where to look for work.  I guess I'll just see what's out there and go with the flow.  

My 30 day challenges are going okay, though Junes started and then got lost in the chaos of school.  Oh well, I tried.  May was Fitness month and I started eating better, doing some fitness challenges I saw on Instagram.  I lost some weight and then started gaining it back.  Not because it was muscle but because i got lazy and started eating junk again.  July is all about reading.  So I will read up on as much fitness and health lifestyles as i can.  I want to learn about Macros and how it works.  I also want to know more about creating my own personal mini-gym at home.  I refuse to pay for a membership when i can invest in the equipment I need for home.  I am also doing The Gratitude Experiment. The challenge isn't until October, but this is a good head start.  It's interesting and has made me focus more on me.  So far I like it. Check it out HERE

My birthday is coming up real fast here.  I will go away for the weekend before my birthday and have dinner with friends the following weekend.  My buddy Eric insists on treating me to a weekend get-away to help me relax and focus on what is important -- ME.  I've been seriously stressed with school and it's been showing in my attitude.  I will visit my grandmother in San Jose during my two week break.  It will be a much needed break away from my neighborhood.  Which is another stress inducer at the moment.  This place has gone down hill in the last few months.  

Well I think I better get ready for tomorrow.  I'm a bit tired from the day.  I miss writing here on a regular basis.