Whining Rant

It's about that time again in my life where I am beyond sexually frustrated.  I get a bit emotional when I don't have sex. I cry a lot, throw tantrums, and become a man hater.  I become a bitter, angry shrew who is mad at everyone who is having sex.  Fuck you cute couples, Fuck you couple making out in public, and Fuck you married guy friends who think it's okay to flirt with me.
I'm frustrated to the point that I feel like purging my house.  Throw away everything! I hate everything and everyone.. All because I can't have sex.  Okay, okay, I know I can go out find a one night stand or something, but I fear STIs way too much to do that now. Maybe 10 or more years ago I would have been cool with it. Now, no way. Besides a one time fling is not going to quench my thirst.
I read that it takes two years of no sex for your libido to calm the fuck down and have almost no desire. That will never happen to me, even if I decided to run away to a convent and become a nun.  I guess I could take medication to kill it.  I'm afraid it won't work, but it is an option.  Yes, I know I have ranted and raved and whined again and again about this issue.  Masturbation no longer does the job. The instant I'm done, it's as if I never did it.  I still enjoy watching porn and all that fun stuff, so I don't know why I'm fucking damaged.  waahhh waahh boo hoo..

I just don't know what to do about it except cry or risk getting cooties. I don't want cooties.  Cookies on the other hand I do want... Anyone have some cookies for me?


I hate everyone.

Words

Childish & Immature

Crazy

Emotional

Judgmental

Lazy

Loud

Obnoxious

Over Helpful

Over Sensitive (not the same as emotional)

Pack Rat

Passive- Aggressive

Sentimental

Smothering

Too Kind/Nice

Music on my Mind

It's Monday, How has your day been?  Mine has been a little slow but good. I applied for a new position at my current job. Hopefully I hear back from them soon.

That's not why I'm writing though. I've been stuck listening to love songs most of the day.  For some reason my ipod insists on playing only love songs. I know there are many other genres on my little device, so why is it playing girly, mooshy, love songs?  Finally I couldn't take it and hit the forward button a few times without paying attention.  In hopes of something different would play and I got my wish.  One of my new favorite YouTube songs played.

OH JEFFEREY

This is my other favorite song from him, but I haven't downloaded it yet.

I'M READING A BOOK

Thank you Julian Smith for making my day better with your songs.  Also thank you to JW for making me smile today.

I Think A Lot of Thoughts

There has been a lot of ruckus going on in my little brain.  Maybe because the work I do gives me opportunities to think random thoughts.

Thought #1-- I really need to do something about my cluttered apartment.  As I have been helping my friend JW and family prepare their homes for the move this past weekend. It made me realize I have way too much crap.  Okay, I already knew I had too much crap, but helping JW made me truly see it.  So, the question that popped into my head was: What would I do with all this stuff if I moved? The answer is: I have no idea. To me that is a sign of trouble.  I better get on it.

Thought #2-- I need to lose some weight and start eating better. AGAIN.. This new job has made me fat. Okay, it's not the job, it's my poor choices now that I work at a job where I sit on my butt all day.  I did a little research and I think I found a way to get some exercise in at work and found some great ideas for lunches.  I am thinking about going for the Ketogenic "diet"/ the Low carb high fat (LCHF) lifestyle.  It's just super hard because I am a Carb lover and have a sweet tooth.  I believe I can do it. I just keep using the excuse that carbs are easier to store in my "snack drawer" at work.  Lame right?  Also in my research I found this cute way to workout at work called  Deskercise, I need to pick out which ones I like and can do then make a little chart to print out and post in my cube.

Thought #3-- Blogging, it's a constant thought. I see or think of something and I think, "oh I should blog about that".  I try to write when I can.  I wish to write more content and more often.

Thought #4-- I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. I have been trying to write it all out so I can blog them.



Thought #5 --

I Have 15 Minutes

I have 15 minutes to say Hello.

I have been pretty busy lately and I like it. I don't like the unknown, no one really does.  As many of you know I live in Low-income/subsidized housing.  When my income goes up, so does my rent. I took a day off work to make sure all paperwork and proof of employment was taken care of so by October 1 I would know what my new rent was and how I will need to budget my bills around it.  It is October 2 and I have not been notified what my rent will be.  I took half a day off Tuesday to take care of any loose ends.  What irritates me the most is communication. Everyone involved has my contact information. How hard is it to notify me that there is an issue and it needs to be resolved immediately   It would have been ideal for someone to call or email me and let me know what was going on.  I emailed and called to keep in the loop, but no one knew anything or didn't respond in a timely manner.  I'm frustrated. I can't pay any bills until my rent is paid. Some of my bills will now have a late fee.

My friend JW is moving this weekend. I have been helping when and where I can on house repairs, cleaning,  and moving.  Doing so is helping me keep my mind off my own home B.S...  I am excited for JWs move.  It will be a new adventure for his family.

Well believe it or not, that is my 15 minutes.

Many blessings to you and yours,

Lisa