Way Back When

My dog Roscoe and I when we lived in San Jose California 1977

Dang It!

As I try to clean up my digital life I am getting frustrated. I have always saved my passwords and screen names, just in case.  Now I can't retrieve some of these accounts due to wrong passwords and my confusion of which email I used as a back up.  Hopefully I will be able to fix all this mess soon. I really want to get back to writing and using the other blogs I opened. Also, I want to clean up my online profiles.

I have failed horribly.

2016 Wasn't All That Bad, For Me...

Well hello there,

It's been a long time since I have had the desire to write.  Work was a crash course in retail in 2016.  It was worth it though, it helped me gain my promotion to Service Manager.  So much happened last year that I could have written about.  I chose to live in the moment and go with the flow of life. I didn't over analyze or overthink every step I took.  I just worked my ass off and kept moving forward.  When I did finally sit down and think about what I was doing and my next move, it was relaxed and focused.

I also quit dating, sex, and shaving... Oh yea, I quit sex and shaving.

I learned not shaving saves money (DUH) and makes me sweat less.  Also my hair doesn't grow long at all.  Having hair in places I'm not used to wasn't as bad as I thought it be.  When I decided to shave again I became annoyed within the first hour.  I started sweating and itching. UGH!! Gross.  Oh, and sex, I just don't care for it as much as I thought.  Yes, its fantastic, I enjoy it, but I don't desire it the way I used to.  Maybe because I don't have a significant other?  I don't know.  I did notice somehow everyone has become unattractive and annoying when they try to pick up on me.  I've become awfully picky about companionship.  This may also explain why I no longer have friends either.  Everyone annoys me. I have no time for peoples bull shit.  I've kept to myself for most of 2016.  I'm not sure if this pattern will change in 2017.  I enjoy being alone much more these days.

2016 brought me to a place of calm and meditation.  I did more yoga, self reflection, and focused on my work.  I'm excited and ready for whatever comes my way for 2017.  I have a few goals I want to complete this year, and I will.  No doubt about it.  Things have changed and definitely for the better.  One thing I know for sure, writing will become more frequent.  I missed it and it's time to get back into it.

xoxo,

Lisa

I'm Tired Of The Foot Pain

I was recently diagnosed with Plantar Faciitis.  I don't know how to explain how I feel about it.  Frustrated? Confused? I just don't know.  I have walked everywhere most of my life.  I'm a pedestrian.  I'm on my feet all the time.  Always have been.  So why now? After I join the gym and try to be 100% serious about my health do I get foot problems?  My left foot has more going on than Plantar Faciitis, I have pain I can't explain in other parts of my foot.  I've had X-rays and I'm about to have a MRI to see if there is anything else.  If not, I'm screwed.  Physical therapy is the next step, I'm waiting for their call.   This issue is causing problems at work. I am half the speed I used to be, so my work is falling behind.  My Supervisor and I discussed the situation and she is doing her best to help me.  I want to hike, jog, and be able to participate in life without being in pain.  I have a feeling this is going to be something I will have to deal with and there will be no fixing it.

Cleaning up

With my foot being a pain and my work schedule being inconstant, It's hard for me to get things done at home sometimes.  I really need to do some spring cleaning/de-clutter in this house.  So I made a list with the hopes of completing my cleaning within 60 days.  Some clean ups will take more than one day due to my hoarding.  The reason for this de-cluttering is to sell or donate as much as possible.  I would like to reduce the clutter and start my non-consumerist lifestyle.  I've been trying to start this a few times.  Slowly getting there, but not quite.  My kids are gamers and artists so it's hard not to spend money.  Now, they are both old enough to get jobs of their own to pay for all the extras they want.  My kids are frugal, always buying used games and refurbished equipment.  Unfortunately we can't buy used art supplies, at least not that I know of.   My daughter just spent $80 of her birthday money on supplies and complained.  I couldn't help but laugh.  We have discussed selling her art and I think we may just do that.

This clean up will also help us prepare for a future move.  Yes, move... I want so bad to move away and start fresh somewhere else.  In 2 years my youngest will be 18 and I made it clear that I want to move as soon as she graduates from high school. So we have 2 years to save money, do research for a new place, and reduce the items we own to basic necessities.  Of course things can change, but so far, this is the plan.  Best part, the kids are totally in on this plan.  I know 2 years sounds like a long time, but you just never know what might happen and time flies...  So I'm starting today.

So here's the de-clutter plan.  One room or section of my house a day until it's completed.  Like i said above, I'd like to complete this task in 60 days.  I have a feeling it will take me longer as some of the days I work will not leave me enough time to really get much done.  Each friday I will decide what rooms will be done based on my schedule for the next week.  The days I have off will obviously get the more time consuming jobs.  I expect to work on at least 5 tasks a week.

Since I don't have much time today before work, I'm starting small.  I will work on my nightstands and headboard.  I'm only using 1 nightstand, but once the second one is emptied out and cleaned, it will go into my storage closet instead of taking up space in my bedroom.  My storage closet is the true first task on the list and will take me through the weekend  to work on it.  I have a mid-shift, closing shift, the mid-shift. so not much time to keep it moving on the tasks at home.  I'll do my best because mid-shifts wear me out and I usually go straight to bed when I get home.  I can't get the apartment cleaned up if i can't put things away in storage.  Hopefully I can pick up a few flower boxes from work to help me with organizing.

Spring 2016

It's been six months since I last posted.  I am still on this journey of mindful happiness.  It has become a part of my life.  For a short time this past winter I lost sight of it. Work had become stressful and it made me so exhausted that all I would do after work was sleep.  I would sleep through my days off.  It wasn't the work itself, but the negativity I was surrounded with.  Once I started doing more solo work in the store I felt much better.  I also stopped showing up early, leaving later, and coming in on my off days to check out how things were going.  I rarely shop on my off days now.  Then, I hurt my left foot. I have no idea what I did.  Some days it hurts so bad I can hardly walk, but I have to.   The Doctor says The X-Ray shows I have plantar Fasciitis and now I'm waiting to see what else they find with an MRI.  I'm trying to stay positive and hope all I need is some physical therapy.  What sucks is I paid for a gym membership and have only been a few times because of my injury.  I know, lame excuse.

The doctor also wants me to change my eating habits.  We discussed the Low carb High Fat lifestyle and I am working my way there.  At the moment I have a lot of high carb foods in my home and I am slowly eating them while trying to add more high fat and veggies.  I think by next paycheck i will have eaten majority of my carbs and will be on a full LCHF diet.  I'm not going to force my kids to do a complete change, but their dinners will fit with my new eating plan.


I will discuss my new journey into this healthier lifestyle.  I truly hope I have the will power and faith to stick with it.


Wish me luck...

An Interesting Insight to my Mindful Happiness

I like this quote.  It's something my old self would say with a passive aggressive attitude.  I guess I can say I still have a 4 foot wall up that I can peek over to see whose coming my way.   I can also say I have built a nice little gate that never locks.  It easily swings open to those who want to visit.  They can come and go as they please.  No one is locked out or in.  It doesn't matter if you want to stay or not.  I welcome short term visitors.  Actually I prefer it these days.  There was a time I would have wanted, no, needed people to stay, hopefully forever.  Not anymore.  My journey of Mindful Happiness has freed me from possession, obsession, jealousy, and attachment.  It also has me lost for words, freed from negative emotions, and loss of remembering dreams.  I am in a place of peace and contentment.  With this peace has come silence.  I no longer have anything to say.  I never thought of my words being important in the past, yet I always had something to say.  Hoping someone would hear me,  notice me.  Not anymore, I like being invisible now.  I'm keeping the weight I lost off, because I am no longer emotionally eating.  I enjoy alone time more than having company.  It seems this short wall I have up may be blocking some emotions/feelings I think I should have: Desire, motivation, passion, and love.  My love for things has dwindled to semi-likes and the love for people is gone.  Of course I love my kids and I love myself.  My desire to be with someone is no where to be seen.  I look at and talk with  people and see nothing appealing about them.   I have been forcing myself to get out there and socialize.  I am failing horribly, or am I...  I enjoy talking to strangers or going on dates, but after an hour, I cant wait to get away.  I'm okay with meeting up with friends, but not for too long.  I just want to quietly enjoy the world behind a book or drink, alone.  I have no interest in doing creative things of any kind.  Exercising has become dull.  Even blogging has lost its luster.  In a way, I have become numb; I just don't care anymore.  I need simplicity and nothing more.

Who knew mindful happiness would do this to me..   Oh well, I'm happy and don't want to change it.

Think Happy, Be Happy :)