Thursday, July 17, 2014
I wish I could say it was PMS
I have been in bit of a funk lately. I can't shake the shitty feelings I have and the doubts that run through my mind. I would like to say it's PMS and tell myself to wait it out. The problem is, this all started way before my PMS started. My PMS does exacerbate the situation. I feel restless, fake, out of control, and completely lost. I hate the way I am feeling at the moment and I really hope it passes. I have been here before and I know where it leads... to a dark place I don't want to go. I know why I am coming to this awful place again, but I don't know how to stop it. The fear and the urge is strong this time too. I am trying to be careful. I am trying to distract myself and not allow my mind to drift off to this dark place. I fear I am losing this battle.
I just want to sleep until it passes.
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