Lent is Here! Day One

It's the first day of Lent, Ash wednesday.  I am fasting today, having only tea and water.  I am starving since I didn't eat dinner last night and had one to many drinks for Fat Tuesday.  That was not a good decision. I am very disappointed in myself at the moment.  I had a great time with a few close friends.  I should have ate more though.  Oh well, lesson learned.

I decided to weigh myself  (150 lbs.) and take pictures to post later. I want to see if there is a difference in my body shape and weight at the end of Lent. Though I am not doing this for weight loss, I would like to keep track.  I said in my last entry that I would be doing a 30 day fitness challenge and a writing challenge as well.  I will write more as I start them on Monday.

I have been working on this entry most of the day and all I can think about is tacos... Yes tacos- Jack in the Box tacos or Taco Bell tacos.  I just want some fast food tacos.

Lets do the Question of the Day shall we...

From www.thoughtquestions.com

What's one bad habit we are all better off without?

My answer is negative self thinking.  We have enough people in society telling us what they think we need or want to be.  Telling us we're not good enough, we will never make it in life, and a million other ugly comments. Many of us don't know how to get past the negative self talk because we were raised in a home with so much negative ideas. I know this all too well, for I was that child.  We break ourselves down with doubt, fear, and self abuse.  We are taught that if we are not perfect in someone else's eyes, then we are worthless.  Somehow our self worth becomes someone else's decision. Our minds become clouded with doubt, jealousy, and hate.  Some people manifest this into negative thoughts and behavior towards others.  They become bullies and doubt everyone else because they could never see past their own self negativity.  It took me years to learn to let go of my self hate and doubts; to stop questioning my choices in life based on someone else's ideas of me, their idea of what i was worth.  Looking back, I wasn't worth anything at all to them.  I was just an object either in the way, a burden, only useful when the time came for whatever they had in store for me.  Sometimes I still doubt myself, who doesn't?  I sometimes go back to those negative ideas and thoughts, I forget my worth for a moment, and I have to stop myself.  I have to remind myself that I am not the person others tried to tell me I was.

I will leave you with a quote