Thursday, May 24, 2012

Something I always think "WHAT IF" about.



I had a tubal ligation when I was 23. I don't think it was a mistake, at the time it was the right thing to do in my situation. I had three high risk pregnancies and risking my life or a babies was not what i wanted.  Looking back I wonder if there was an alternative. I had tried a variety of birth control with some unfortunate reactions. the father of my two youngest children refused to use condoms, pull out, abstain or get clipped himself. So I chose to do what was best for me and my children. Now, I think I was selfish for having the surgery, I didn't have all the facts and was told by 2 out of 3 Doctors to NOT do it. Yes Doctor #3 was more than willing to do the surgery.
I also feel my decision to have the tubal ligation 12 years ago is the reason for the end of my last relationship. Though he says it is not the case. I feel that my inability to have children damaged our relationship. Yes he knew that I was unable to have children, but I selfishly pursued and became engaged to a man who wanted children, knowing I could not give him what he wanted. It was and still is a battle within my heart.



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