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| Here I am. |
This is me, no make up (not like I wear it that often anyway), hair pulled back like always and just my sports bra. Not much to look at now, I think I was pretty once upon a time. I just let myself go.
What changed this month? I think i have changed a bit, for the better. I realized some things about myself that I feel are horrible habits and/ or traits to have. Some horrible habits I have known for a long time. I chose to ignore the fact that they were bad for me. I don't exercise enough, I walk everywhere, but I don't actually exercise. I drink tons of soda, eat too much snack foods instead of meals, and my sleep pattern is off. I think i really need to change that.Why am I wanting to do this all of a sudden? I'm not, I've said this plenty of times before. What makes it different this time is I have noticed how much money I am spending, time I'm consuming, and life I am wasting. Not to mention I am starting to look very old. I am not happy about that, mostly because people in my family don't age well. If I don't do something now I will look old and really gross in five years. UGH five years from now I will be 40. I'm not worried about the age really but, I am worried about what my health will be like when I become 40. Yeah it may too little too late, but I'm going to try anyway.
I don't want to just better myself health wise but mentally as well. I feel that i am at a low point right now and can't get out. All I want to do is sleep while the kids are in school and then go about my day/night when the kids are home. I feel sluggish, anti-social, and just plain stupid. I want to do things that will bring me back up emotionally. I want to find ways to stimulate my brain. I'm so bored with myself and life. I kind of like being anti-social though. I always end up being someones therapist or end up participating in gossip and hate talk. GAH! Why are we as a society so interested in talking shit about everyone else like we are better than them. I think most of the time I am saying WTF? Really, they did/said that? Why would they do/say that? It's old and repetitive. I'm done.
What do I hope will happen next month? Well it's June and the kids get out of school on the eighth. David (my son) has his eighth grade Promotion Ceremony on the seventh. YAY! David was also accepted into the AHS EDGE Academy. We went to the EDGE Expo and ribbon cutting ceremony tonight. It was very exciting. For the month of June, I hope start to better myself. I have a list of things I want to do this summer. I have goals I want to accomplish as well. June is the starting month. I am giving myself 3 months to get some things done and some things started. I don't want to start out doing it all at once and then give up cause I am asking too much of myself right off. Stepping stones is the way to do it. I figure start something new every two weeks and I should be okay. There are thirteen weeks until September 1st. I have eight total goals/challenges for summertime.
Challenges
1. Detox- Tea, fruit, and veggies for 30 days (water is a given)
2. No Facebook (exception for Davids Promotion Ceremony/dinner)
3. 30 day book challenge: How many can I read. (I may change it to the whole summer)
4. Summer self portrait challenge (a photo of myself everyday this summer)
Goals
1. walk/jog & Body Rock everyday (cardio or dance three times a week)
2. Make 5 purses/bags
3. Make 3 stuffed animals (one for each of my kids)
4. Make a quilt
The detox is needed. I ingest way to much sugar, salt, and caffeine. I will be substituting tea for soda and will gradually add coffee in the mornings. I'm not a big fan of coffee but will have one serving in the morning sometimes. I walk a lot already but I would like to add some jogging into it and go for longer distances. The Body Rock program will be great for me to do instead of going to a gym and I can even do the exercises anywhere if I have my phone. The photo challenge is more for me to record my progress.
I have all this stuff sitting in garbage bags waiting to be cut and sewn into something new, and I think it's time to recycle those items. Plus it will declutter my apartment and help me get back into non-consumerism.
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